Stupid headline tricks

It always happens—Apple announces a new operating system that continues the usual cat nickname motif, and editors around the world go crazy. For the next few weeks, expect a parade of Tiger-themed headlines, each more forced than the last. “Hear the Tiger Roar,” or  Apple Claws Out the Competition with Tiger” or the old standby, “Does Tiger Have Teeth?”

Well, I say enough! How about we make it through the April 29 release without the pun-ridden headlines that probably sound cute and catchy in story meetings, but read pretty lame once they’re on the page.

Another thing—why is it the plethora of animal-related headlines only applies to Apple? Why don’t the skilled headline writers do the same for Microsoft’s Longhorn? “Longhorn Put Out to Pasture,” or “Microsoft stampedes customers with Longhorn,” or how about "Longhorn Stampede: But Not Until Next Year." I’ll admit, they aren’t as catchy, but you get my point.

Perhaps the headline writers have decided that Steve Jobs has a real live tiger in his office that chases away executives when meetings are over or when they come up with silly ideas. Maybe Steve and his tiger walk around campus together frightening unsuspecting engineers with spontaneous roaring contests.

Which is crazy talk—there’s no tiger menacing Apple’s Cupertino campus. (Unless, of course, there is, in which case I encourage Steve to call me with the scoop.)

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