The Macalope Weekly: Baseball analogies gone wild

Spring training has started and this week the Macalope checks his batting average only to find out it’s not half bad! At least provided the sample size is small and sufficiently self-selected.

Hey, if major leaguers can tout their ability to get hit by a pitch with runners on first and third against left-handed Australians during night games, then so can the Macalope.

Swing and a miss!

Perhaps the Macalope’s refined and sophisticated readers can help him out with a quandary. He knows that white wine goes with crow, but what kind of white wine? A woody Chardonnay or a drier Sauvignon Blanc?

Crow seems like it’s probably a little gamey. The Macalope’s going to go with Chardonnay.

Why the crow consumption? Well, last week this mythical beast kinda sorta poo-pooed the images and video of the new Mac mini that were floating around. Turns out they were real! Or someone has done an absolutely fantastic job of hacking Apple’s web site.

The reason the horny one didn’t buy the rumors (and likely won’t be buying the mini) is that it simply doesn’t make sense, even after its announcement. At the $600 price point, the mini is the cheapest Mac you can buy, but that’s not saying much.

Don’t get the horny one wrong. It still might make sense to you, but anecdotes don’t make a successful product. Or, at least, they don’t make it as successful as it could be.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Macalope can hear you. “Oh, Mr. Macalope, that wine you’re uncorking to go with that crow must be made from some sour grapes.”

It’s not wrong to expect an Apple product to be all it can be, you know. Now get off the Macalope’s lawn.

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Solid double

One thing the brown and furry one was right about, though, was his belief that the Kindle and the iPhone could live together in peace and harmony. This week, Amazon delivered a Kindle reader for the iPhone, showing that the big company that sells books is really in the book business first and the hardware business second. Or third. Or even further down the line.

There are far more iPhones and iPods touches out there than there are Kindles and it just makes sense for Amazon to remember what business it’s in.

The reader itself isn’t much to look at right now, but it’s a start and it’s even had the Macalope browsing for books.

Ooh, Bulfinch’s Mythology!

Bad News Bears

The ball’s still in play on this last one, but it sure is hard to see how the Macalope won’t be proven right that Microsoft’s retail strategy is going to be nothing short of a Hanna-Barbera-style laff riot. The most recent news indicates that the company might not even be selling anything at its retail stores. ZDNet’s Mary-Jo Foley sums it up thusly: “It’s not just a store: it’s a branding experience”.

Wow!

“Honey, let’s go to the mall and have a branding experience!”

The Macalope feels compelled to point out that if it’s not actually selling anything, it isn’t technically a store at all.

What’s funny about watching Microsoft’s marketing of late—which has the hallmark stumbling of a drunken troll trying to take a sobriety test—is seeing how they continue to think their problem is simply one of message. If only people get the message on Vista! If only we had a place in the mall where we could hold people by the leg until they agree to watch one of our commercials.

Somebody call the peanut guy over. This is turning into a rout.

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