Remains of the Day: Bach, Allard bid Microsoft bye-bye

Microsoft may be losing two of its shining stars but not everything is looking bleak: the European Parliament is all getting new iPads! And the New York Mets trump their crosstown rivals a second time this week. It’s all in the remainders for May 25, 2010.

Bach, Allard leaving Microsoft in big shift for consumer business (TechFlash)

Microsoft executive J Allard has been found! But with that finding comes the news that both he and Robbie Bach, head of the company’s entertainment and devices divison, will be leaving Redmond. Instead of replacing Bach, the heads of the Xbox/gaming and Windows Phone departments will be reporting directly to CEO Steve Ballmer. Rumor is Ballmer already has a succinct seventeen-word plan to jumpstart the troubled division. Unfortunately, it’s actually just one word repeated seventeen times.

Confirmed: Apple’s next iPhone will have video chat, feature to be shown in ads directed by Sam Mendes (Engadget)

Thank heavens for Twitter, without which we would have no idea that Academy Award-winner Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Road to Perdition) is reputedly directing the commercial for the new iPhone model, which may show the rumored new video-chat feature. Also thanks to the magic of Twitter, we can ascertain exactly which blabber-mouthed actors won’t be getting callbacks.

Europe in crisis, lawmakers get new iPads (CNBC)

Despite their continent tottering on the brink of financial disaster, all 736 members of European Parliament will be getting brand new iPads this week, prompting criticism of the unnecessary spending. Look, this is easy to fix: instead of giving all the members of parliament new iPads, replace them all with new iPads. Done.

AT&T chides T-Mobile for ‘misleading’ 4G marketing on HSPA+ (FierceWireless)

T-Mobile has dubbed its new HSPA+ network a “4G” technology, which has competitor AT&T up in arms. AT&T’s already been rolling out the same wireless standard, but refers to it under the “3G” umbrella. While they’re squabbling over that, I’ll be looking for investors for my recently-perfected 379G wireless networking technology. (Disclaimer: May be indistinguishable from two tin cans tied together with string.)

Mets welcome Yankee fans and their iPads (App Advice)

Not only did the 22-and-23 New York Mets take two out of three from the 26-and-18 Bronx bombers this past weekend, but, unlike their rivals, the team from Queens will actually allows fans to bring iPads to the ballpark and darn it, I put the punchline up at the beginning of the sentence.

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