Returning from an inadvertent hiatus due to…er…inclement conditions in my office, I’m here to tell bring you the latest in stories you might have missed. It seems Apple’s got something big up the sleeves of its black turtleneck; meanwhile, RIM is smuggling a new tablet in its pinstripe suit, and Apple’s also playing legal ping pong. Oh, and Mark Zuckerberg did…something. You’ll have to read the remainders for July 30, 2010 to find out exactly what.

Apple seeking Mac OS X software engineer (Apple)

“We are looking for a senior software engineer to help us create a revolutionary new feature in the very foundations of Mac OS X,” reads the job posting on Apple’s site. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god—I think I’m hyperventilating. What could it be? I’m holding out for a system that dispenses cocktails via the optical drive slot.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg ditches iPhone for Android (Redmond Pie)

Remember when Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg got an iPhone 4? No? You drift off when listening to stuff about Facebook too? Yeah, totally. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, looks like Zuck ditched his iPhone for an Android model. I’ve already forgotten why I thought anybody would care.

RIM said to plan tablet for November to take on Apple’s iPad (Bloomberg)

On top of making an “iPhone-like BlackBerry”, RIM is also apparently prepping a tablet called the—wait for it—Blackpad. Normally I’m not a big fan of market testing, but you might want to run a focus group or two on that one, guys.

Apple quietly settles patent lawsuit, promptly gets hit with another one (TechCrunch)

Apple settled a patent lawsuit with Minerva Industries out of court only to find itself smacked with a new one from Israel-based Emblaze Group, this time over streaming video and audio. You know what they say: when the universe opens a door, it slams a window shut on your fingers.