Business

Remains of the Day: Die, clowns, die

Dan Moren went home sick (okay, technically he went about five feet, since he works at home) and all I got was this lousy T-shirt that reads, “I’m the doofus stuck writing the remainders column for Wednesday, September 22, 2010.”

Oracle CEO likens new approach to Apple’s (MarketWatch)

The Oracle OpenWorld conference in San Francisco is happening right now, forcing me to get off my bus several blocks early because the company has rented out an entire city block—no, literally, the actual street has been filled with Oracle tents. But I digress.

At OpenWorld, CEO Larry Ellison declared that Oracle will take a page from Apple’s playbook and focus on combinations of software and hardware in the future. It’s “a little bit like the iPhone,” Ellison said. Hey, remember when nobody who dealt with the business world would ever even mention Apple except derisively?

Xbox Head Proclaims Blu-ray Dead (Thinq)

The head of Microsoft’s Xbox group in the UK suggests that consumers have moved from DVDs straight to downloads and streaming, and that Blu-Ray will therefore soon be dead. Of course, nothing will leave you with a bad opinion about optical-disc media like investing in the HD-DVD format, which Microsoft did. With broadband providers setting up bandwidth caps, those 1080p video downloads might be a risky proposition. Still, let’s keep our heads here: this was an English Microsoft executive. His remarks might have been mistranslated.

Devine wins Apple fraud bail hearing (The Mac Observer)

It’s hard to find glimmers of hope if you’re Paul Shin Devine, the Apple employee accused of exchanging Apple trade secrets to Asian parts suppliers in return for wads of juicy, juicy cash. Devine won a bail hearing Wednesday, but is still in the pokey until a lien against his mother’s house clears. He also had to sign away the equity in his own home, a big chunk of money in foreign accounts, and even 50 grand from his brother. It’s gonna be an awkward Thanksgiving dinner at Mom’s house.

Mark Zuckerberg Now Richer than Steve Jobs (Forbes)

Though Facebook is currently a privately held company, recent private equity investments have raised the value of the company—and Mark Zuckerberg owns a big piece. As a result, he’s now No. 35 on the Forbes 400 with an estimated worth of $6.9 billion, compared to a mere $6.1 billion for Fortune 400’s No. 42, Steve Jobs. Fortune points out that the bulk of Jobs’s net worth comes from his Disney stake, which he received by selling Pixar.

Even more humiliating, Jobs’s life story was told in a TV movie. A basic cable TV movie. Directed by the director of The Clown Murders. Meanwhile, Zuckerberg? He’s being made fun of in a major theatrical release from the director of Fight Club and the writer of The West Wing.

Okay, maybe I’d choose basic cable over being pilloried by Aaron Sorkin, if you put it that way. Well played, Steve Jobs.

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