The Macalope Daily: Flights of fancy

Where do Apple rumors come from, dear readers? Why from the wonderland of imagination! Say, anyone know what the emoticon is for Doug Henning?

Deutsche Bank’s Chris Whitmore gave us an object lesson in how crazy bananas people can get when it comes to loose talk about Apple. Whitmore apparently forgot to note he was just thinking out loud when he wrote that his firm “believes” Apple will ship a new iPhone in September, along with a lower-cost prepaid iPhone.

What?! Two iPhones?! That’s like 100 percent more iPhones!

Some sites threw caution and history and possibly their underwear to the wind. Like Business Insider, for example:

Apple will have TWO new iPhones in September

Thanks for capitalizing “TWO” there, guys. Otherwise we might have missed the whole thing about there being two iPhones.

The Unofficial Apple Weblog, meanwhile, hastily walked back a credulous title on its piece from “Apple to release two iPhone models this September” to “Psh, we didn’t fall for that! We were just going along with it to see how long you’d go along with it! C’mon! As if. Sooo obvious.”

Of course, as the Macalope has pointed out about iPhone rumors in the past:

While rumors do not mean Apple is going to make something, they don’t mean it isn’t going to make it, either.

And Whitmore isn’t the only one whose analyst sense is tingling. (Most people don’t realize where analysts come from: they’re people who, while in high school, were bitten by other, radioactive analysts).

While less direct, if you hold the note from Morgan Stanley’s Katy Huberty up to the light just right, you can make out the second iPhone on the grassy knoll.

Lower priced iPhones and an Apple-branded TV may also be in the works, Huberty noted. According to the analyst, Apple is forecasting a large iPhone unit increase in 2012 “on the back of new products and potentially lower price points.”

Ah! New products and lower price points! How much more proof do you need than that?! We’ve got it from two separate analysts! Rumor confirmed!

Well, OK, no. But it could happen, and it does make some sense if Apple really wants to get into the low end of the market. The Macalope’s not convinced it does, but, like he said on Monday, anything to make some silly pundits eat crow.

Actually, you know what would be really cool?

Three iPhones.

Right? Totally.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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