The Macalope Daily: Teardrops

Sell all your Apple stock and light your Apple products on fire, the company “only” announced the iPhone 4S Tuesday morning.

Parents know that awful phase children go through where they have to have everything just so and if you get the Jango Fett instead of the Boba Fett, well, God help you. Well, some in the tech industry apparently never grew out of that phase (which, incidentally, is called “childhood”).

Time to document just some of the tantrums.

Kara Swisher at All Things D says No Sparkly iPhone 5 Disappoints Apple Fans (and Wall Street). (Tip o’ the antlers to Glenn Fleishman.)

Apple rolled out a new iPhone today. Sort of.

Um, nooo, it really did. What it didn’t do is update the form factor to the rumored teardrop shape, causing pundits to cry real teardrops.

Prolonged sighs could be felt all over the blogosphere and on Twitter, where Steve Brown tweeted me: “Can I be bummed now?!?”

You may.

Sure! If you want to be an over-privileged baby, knock yourself out!

People there are a hundred different Android OEMs and they churn out forgettable pieces of crap on a regular basis but there's just one Apple making iPhones. You get that, right?

Wall Street also had its iPhone 5 bubble burst, with investors shunning Apple stock. Shares are down almost five percent now.

And they ended the day down a half a percent. Devastating.

CNet’s David Carnoy, you’re next. (Tip o’ the antlers to Shawn King.)

If you were among those who bet your office mates that Apple wouldn’t come out with an iPhone 5 today, congratulations. Give yourself a high five; you win. But if you were on the losing side of that bet and were sure Apple would unveil a truly new iPhone with a new chassis and a number 5 in the name somewhere, you’re probably shaking your head a little.

That’s it? The iPhone 4S? We waited these extra months for that?

Which is funny because when you go back over the likely “iPhone 5” rumors, that’s the only difference between them and what was announced: a new chassis and a number 5 in the name.

As @toldorknown said on Twitter:

Most of the disappointment I’m hearing about the iPhone 4S seems to boil down to “how will other people SEE that I've got the new one?”.

But what about Siri? Apple introduced, what appears to be if it works, some serious Star Trek-level voice technology. And you’re complaining about the shape of the box it came in.

Well, except for Business Insider’s Nicholas Carlson who’s just assuming it won’t work. (Tip o’ the antlers to Harry Marks.)

Apple just announced Siri, a voice-recognition service for the iPhone.

I fully expect it to suck. Don’t you?

...

Useless.

Well, somebody certainly is.

Does Business Insider actually pay you for this?

Way back in 2006, when Apple first introduced the iPhone...

The iPhone was introduced at Macworld Expo in January of 2007.

...I was very disappointed that the whole thing was built around a touchscreen.

I fully expected it to suck. I had never in my entire life interacted with a touchscreen service and come away happy.

So maybe I’ll be wrong again.

No, seriously, they pay you for this?

As Horace Dediu dryly noted, “The last time I saw this much disappointment with a keynote event was at the iPad launch.”

Right. And look how that turned out.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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