The Macalope Daily: Tablet fever

It’s taken a year and a half but it finally looks like someone other than Apple has figured out this tablet game. It sure doesn’t hurt when you have one of the largest storefronts in the world to advertise your device, but it’s looking like initial sales of the Kindle Fire may beat even those of the iPad 2.

Don’t worry, Apple fans. The iPhone 4S is looking to beat sales records so we can still get out our souvenir foam hands and yell “We’re number 1!” about something.

The Macalope would like to remind everyone once again, though, don’t call the Kindle Fire an “Android tablet.” Only Google-licensed versions of the operating system can be called “Android.” The Macalope’s going to keep banging this drum because he knows a collection of silly pundits are just dying to add the Kindle Fire sales figures in with the anemic sales of the likes of the beleaguered Galaxy Tab, which is so imperiled that Samsung’s next move should be to try to get it added to the endangered species list.

Unlike Microsoft, which is content to have Android OEMs send it checks while it just sits on the couch eating kettle corn and watching football, Apple is not so interested in licensing its key patents.

Apple is prepared to give Android device makers a license to “some lower level patents” but it wants to reserve various design elements and functionalities exclusively for iOS.

The only way one can get a deal with Apple that relates to all of its patents is a cross-license. However, Samsung is, on the current basis, rather unlikely to win injunctions against Apple.

Particularly when its lawyers can’t tell the difference between an iPad and Galaxy Tab at a distance of 10 feet.

“I’m home, honey.”

“Oh, hey! How did that patent hearing go?”

“Are we out of gin?”

The Macalope’s no lawyer, but he’s seen a lot of TV and he’s going to suggest to Samsung’s lawyers that they go for a board flip. On the last day of the case, tell the judge she’s out of order, throw a bunch of papers in the air and drive off in to the sunset in a convertible, throwing your tie out the back, to go pursue that music career you gave up on after college. Your edgy, incomprehensible grunge band has a better chance of making a comeback than the Galaxy Tab.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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