The Macalope Daily: Nice try

On Wednesday, the Macalope gave eWeek’s Don Reisinger the business end of the antlers for another in his series of time-wasting top-ten lists and on Thursday he’s back! And guess what with! That’s right! Another in his series of time-wasting top-ten lists…but this time with a twist!

Ditch Microsoft Windows In Favor of Mac OS X Lion: 10 Reasons Why

Ahhh, verrry clever, Don! But the Macalope only eats grains, he doesn’t eat cheese. Let alone government grade cheese like this.

OK, this isn’t a terrible list—unlike many of the others that Reisinger’s coughed up on the Internet, like an overly fastidious cat—but it’s not a great list either, and it still has more bogus items than the USDA recommends you read in a day.

Talking about FaceTime, Don says:

Windows, on the other hand, doesn’t come with FaceTime support.

Uh, yeah, that’s probably because Apple never opened it up like they said they would. Makes it kind of hard to support.

If users want to video chat with friends who are either on a different computer or on the road, getting a Mac with FaceTime is a must.

Assuming your friends have a Mac, iPad or iPhone. On the other hand, it’s not like you can’t use Skype to do the same thing, just uglier.

The latest rumors suggest Apple is planning to deliver more features to Mac OS X Lion in the coming months.

And we all know how accurate rumors are, right?! Take that to the fake bank and deposit it along with the rest of your fake money and you’ll be fake rich and swimming in fake features!

One prominent rumor contends Apple will offer Siri support, so users can control their Mac desktops and laptops with voice commands.

The Macalope is not really familiar with this rumor, as unfounded speculation gives him hives, but his guess would be that this is more likely to be a feature of 10.8 than Lion. Apple didn’t even give Siri to iPhone 4 and iPad 2 users, so don’t expect to get it for nothing on the Mac.

For those customers that are running a Windows XP- or Windows Vista-based computer, getting into the world of Windows 7 can be expensive, depending on the version they’re looking for. … But Lion is different. Current Mac OS X owners who want to use Lion need only pay $30 to add it to their computer. Not bad.

Like a teenager on a date, Don is clumsily groping around the point here, still somehow managing to never actually get to second base. The advantage is simply that OS X upgrades cost less than Windows upgrades. The direct cost comparison between Windows 7 and Lion is kind of irrelevant for a switcher, though, as those people have to buy a new machine.

Macs Are Winners

You got that right.

It Runs Windows

Yes, Macs run Windows, but wasn’t the point of this pointless top-ten list supposed to be why you should run Lion instead of Windows? We’re at item #9 and Don’s forgotten what he’s supposed to be writing about.

Upon breaking a Mac out of the box, users can turn the device on, and within just a couple minutes, they can be surfing the Web, checking email and downloading applications.

Well, duh, it’s 2011. Can’t you do that on Windows, or Linux hahahaha couldn’t say that with a straight face.

Don, Don, Don, Don, Don, Don, Don, Don, Don, Don, Don.

Don.

Pandering will get you nowhere. The Macalope hopes we’re clear on that now.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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