The Macalope Daily: Reports versus rumors

Stunning news about the entire Apple product lineup! Which may not be true at all! But we’ll get to that! First, DigiTimes has stunning news about the next iPad!

Real iPad 3 reportedly to launch in 3Q12

Apple’s new generation iPad will enter mass production soon with the launch set for March 2012, according to sources from the upstream supply chain; however, the sources revealed that internally Apple does not view the new iPad product as iPad 3, but rather an upgraded iPad 2 and the real iPad 3 will not be launched until the third quarter of 2012 at the earliest.

Well, it’s conceivable that Apple could take a page from the tremendously disappointing iPhone 4S and release an iPad 2S, which would be a tremendous disappointment even though it’ll sell well because Apple fans will buy whatever blah blah blah.

But this doesn’t sound like an iPad 2S.

The iPad 2 upgrade will be thinner than iPad 2, and will offer longer battery life.

A different form factor sounds like a different iPad, not just a speed bump with the addition of Siri or something. Possible, the Macalope supposes, but it doesn’t seem likely.

Some channel retailers also pointed out that iPad 2 is still the most popular tablet PC product in the IT market currently and Apple has no need to rush to launch a new model.

Very astute, unnamed channel retailers! Of course, later this month will bring the launch of a big-name tablet that’s less than half the price of the base iPad. If Apple thinks the Kindle Fire is going to give the iPad grief, it might want to keep the older model around and sell it for less, à la iPhone. Except it doesn’t exactly sound like Apple’s worried about the Kindle Fire.

Apple chief Tim Cook in a chat with Barclays analyst Ben Reitzes has argued that the Amazon Kindle Fire might actually help the iPad. By developing such a heavily customized version of Android and having to exclude Android Market, Amazon was creating what amounted to a separate platform.

Of course, Apple’s protestations are not going to stop your nitwits, your jerkbags, your ninnies, your Henry Blodgets, from lumping the Kindle Fire sales in with Android sales and writing link-baiting pieces about how “Android” is killing the iPad. (Just a reminder again, so we’re all clear: it’s not “Android”.)

Not content with this iPad blockbuster, DigiTimes also says the entirety of Apple’s product lineup will get refreshed next year. Wait, including the MacBook Air? Yes, including the MacBook Air. Ever helpful, 9to5Mac coughs and suggests DigiTimes must be talking about the rumored 15-inch Air. Sure, that must be it. The rumor mill never fails, people. Apple only fails the rumor mill.

Because if Apple so much fails as to update the iPad socks line next year, it will have disappointed.

Again.

See, the thing is, DigiTimes is about as accurate as a broken and handless watch. This is the outlet that predicted Apple would ship AMD-based laptops and that this year’s iPhones would have metal backplates and Apple would ship 7-inch iPads, amongst other nonsense. This never stops some outlets from citing the “report.”

A “report” is something you put in a plastic binder and hand to your eighth-grade English teacher. You know, something with clout, gravitas. This? This is a rumor.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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