The Macalope Daily: Repeats

Gosh, seems like it’s been a month or more since some lazy scribe has lectured us on how Android versus iOS is just a retelling of Windows versus the Mac.

Don’t repeats usually show in the summer, with new shows in the fall? The Macalope supposes no one mentioned that to PCWorld’s Joseph Fieber, who’s only just discovered the tritest argument of this spring and summer (tip o’ the antlers to The Four Misanthropes of the Apocalypse).

Smartphones and tablets are becoming the PCs of our time, and there are two major players in the game. Apple’s iOS and Google’s Android dominate smartphones, with RIM and Microsoft being niche players.

It all feels very familiar, harking back to the Mac vs. PC battle—and analyst Jack Brown suggests the outcome will be the same, with Android dominating by 2014.

Seriously? Joe, we’ve been through this. Not just a couple of times. We’ve been through it over and over and over and, oh, heck, you find the rest of the links. Why should the Macalope do all the work?

This is apparently the Rasputin of arguments. No matter how many times we shoot, stab, poison, and drown it, it keeps coming back.

Microsoft released Windows not long after Apple’s introduction of the Mac, and as it improved, more software became available for the PC.

DOS, apparently, never existed. In 1984, both companies started from zero and the race began on a perfectly even footing.

Finding your favorite software on the Mac is a challenge since coding for both platforms can be expensive…

Joe has apparently just arrived in a time machine from 1998 with a fresh batch of their latest thinking and is serving it to us piping hot. He spends an awful lot of time edumacating us on how we got where we are today, all the while blissfully ignoring any number of inconvenient facts.

The Android Market matured and is on pace to overtake Apple’s App Store within months.

Overtake it in what? Joe doesn’t say, but presumably he’s talking about app downloads or number of available apps. What he is decidedly not talking about is app revenue.

Ovum said that the iPhone will continue to dominate the market for paid applications, with app revenue expected to reach $2.86 billion in 2016, compared with $1.5 billion for Android.

Uhhh, yeah. And yet we’re supposed to believe that developers are going to flee iOS in order to go not make money coding for Android. Right.

But Joe’s not done chewing this rubber bone he found!

The innovative, single-vendor system sets the tone and gets early adopters, but the mainstream player with multiple vendors wins in the end due to lower costs and greater variety of options.

Please define “wins” here, Joe, while remembering that Apple continues to walk away with more profit than anyone else, including Google—which owes two-thirds of its mobile ad revenue to iOS. Because that explanation has got to be really, really funny.

Should you build your IT plan around iPads since they currently dominate the market? Or, do you wait a bit longer and design your plan around Android tablets, knowing they’re more likely to be the long-term platform in the end?

Ugh, do we really have to go through this again? Seriously, how long do we have to keep repeating the material for the slower students in the class?

Android OEMs have shipped more phones because the carriers get better terms from them than they can from Apple, so they push them harder to consumers. This force is totally lacking in tablets. The Macalope’s no fan of Microsoft’s tablet approach, but if market share is your big thing (which it shouldn’t be), who’s to say what effect it’ll have?

By the way, everyone acts like the PC wars are over. They’re not. Is the Mac ever going to take a large market share? That seems ridiculously far-fetched. Still, it’s clawing back a little more every day. Even Forrester Research now says businesses should welcome Macs, for crying out loud, but here comes Fieber waving a white paper on the best IT practices from the heyday of Blind Melon.

With today’s virtualization, remote access options, and cloud computing, compatibility is less of an issue, but managing hardware still is. In the end, waiting for Android tablets is the safe bet.

Totally! Why deploy iPads and benefit from them now when you could wait six years until Android might be dominant and deploy something that’s a security nightmare?

Enjoy your lousy user experience, unlucky denizens of corporations that take Joe’s advice!

Come on, Joe. Catch up to the rest of us already.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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