The Macalope Daily: Still not getting Apple

Yes, it’s time for another edition of “I am as high as a kite!” This week’s entrant is Mashable editor in chief Lance Ulanoff.

Why Didn’t Apple Advertise During the Super Bowl? (tip o’ the antlers to Gwilym Lucas)

Oh! Oh! Because Super Bowl ads are expensive and make no sense when the entire world already watches your every move with breathless anticipation?!

Long ago the Macalope compiled a list of things people thought Apple “must” do. Ulanoff’s piece is another in this continuing vein of ridiculousness, just after the fact.

During the third quarter of the 1984 Super Bowl, viewers witnessed one of the most memorable commercials ever, “1984.” Twenty-eight years later, Apple ignored the most widely watched television event of the year and is instead mocked by one of its chief rivals. Did it make a mistake by skipping Super Bowl XLVI?

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Nooooooooo.

Were you aware that Apple did a Super Bowl ad way back in 1984? It’s true, as Ulanoff so rightly points out to you kids out there who know nothing of history. The ad teased the introduction of the Macintosh with the tag line “Why 1984 won’t be like 1984,” in reference to a book by George Orwell, the title of which slips the Macalope’s mind right now.

Fast forward to 2012. Apple is not mentioned at all during the rather thrilling contest between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots.

And the whole world forgot about the company and it went out of business early Monday morning. THE END.

Why do people wait outside an Apple store for, say, the iPhone 4S and iPad 2 when they know they could just as easily order one of them online?

“I am unaware of how Apple will provide stock to its stores while it pushes online shipment dates out so I will assume you people are just stupid.”

For Apple, though, there is a bigger concern here. By not appearing at the Super Bowl, Apple is letting its competition frame the discussion.

With a 5-inch cell phone.

[slide whistle]

Founder and former CEO Steve Jobs, who died months before the Samsung ads started airing, would likely have wanted to create some sort of counter attack. He was, after all, the chief architect of the Macintosh and the remarkable first ad promoting it.

“I have paid no attention to Apple since Steve Jobs’s return and will just assume it’s still 1984 for the sake of convenience.”

In case you haven’t noticed, Apple’s iPad’s second birthday came and went without the introduction of the eagerly anticipated third generation of the landmark tablet.

Just like its first birthday did last year.

Does anyone realize how long we’ve been talking about new Apple hardware with nothing to show for it?

Twenty years or more, 12 months at a time.

The last year or so has, at least on the hardware side, been nothing but a big, pregnant pause for Apple. I knew that Jobs’s death would have an impact, but I never feared Apple would be rudderless without him.

So, what you’re saying is you know absolutely nothing about product development cycles. Got it. Weird thing to be announcing, but good to know.

Is Apple, right now, struggling with how to unveil its next big thing?

It’s flabbergasting, isn’t it? Because the company didn’t waste a bunch of money on an ad timed to Ulanoff’s schedule, it must be “struggling with how to unveil its next big thing.” The company that, when it wants to announce something, just throws a media event at its corporate headquarters and has press fly in from all over the country, if not the world.

Apple needed a Super Bowl ad in 1984 because Apple was the underdog and wasn’t a household name. Now the company has buzz positively coming out of orifices you don’t expect things as pleasant as “buzz” to come out of. Plus, when you sell crap that’s indistinguishable from everything else (cola, watery beer, a domain-purchasing service), you need big ad placements. When your products are unique, they speak for themselves.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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