The Macalope Daily: Not always Mr. Big Pants

As hard as it is to believe, there are a few places where Apple isn’t king.

“What?!” you say? “How dare you besmirch Apple’s hard-won reputation as the supreme ruler of the universe! You shall be first against the wall when Tim Cook gives the ultimate order, sir!”

Oh, readers. You guys are so funny. Your impression of how Apple haters imagine us is always spot on.

But it’s true. Remember Ping?

No?

No, not Bing, the search engine you switched to because Google now scares you even more than Microsoft. (Did you ever think that day would come?). Ping. Apple’s social networking for music.

Not ringing any bells?

Probably just as well. The Macalope doesn’t want you seeing that he just downloaded all those Glee songs. (THEY’RE FOR MRS. MACALOPE, OK?)

How about Game Center?

Does Game Center even work? Because the Macalope is awesome at Plants vs. Zombies, and he has yet to have any adoring groupies throw their underwear at him. Not a single pair. It’s ridiculous. And he’s not picky about what gender’s traditional form of underwear it is, either. He just wants the praise.

(As an aside, someone really should make a social network where the currency is throwing your virtual underwear at someone.)

Well, anyway, iAd apparently isn’t working out so hot, either. According to Advertising Age (do the ages go Industrial, Space, Information, and then Advertising?) and since confirmed by Apple, the company has now dropped its minimum ad buy to $100,000, a tenth of what it was when iAd was introduced almost two years ago.

Ugh, now the Macalope looks pretty silly for having placed that million dollar vanity ad in the summer of 2010.

Of course, you can’t blame a girl for trying, but it’s obvious that this hasn’t worked out as well as the company had hoped. Google’s AdMob climbed to 24 percent share of mobile ad displays for 2011, while Millenial Media had 17 percent. iAd actually fell four points from 2010, to 15 percent.

A market in which Apple’s offering is falling instead of rising?! A planet where apes evolved from men?! Say it isn’t so!

Well, it is so. But the Macalope supposes that if Apple had to have a weak spot, it could certainly have picked a worse one.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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