The Macalope Daily: Blinders

Google unveiled a concept video of its Project Glass, and already Apple’s doomed again!

TechCrunch’s Josh Constine says “Apple and Facebook Should Be Terrified Of Google-Tinted Glasses” (tip o’ the antlers to Atlas Cerise).

Ah, how the Macalope enjoys that construction. It’s particularly funny when applied to something as awkward as Project Glass.

Still, if you had told us years ago that people would be only too happy to stand on a street corner talking loudly into a Bluetooth headset about their rash, we would have said you were crazy. And, yet, here we are. So maybe people will wear these dorky things.

Google’s augmented reality eyewear is coming to disrupt your face and your business model.

Mostly your face.

It could be a year before Google eyewear reaches stores, but that’s why these and other tech companies need to strategize now.

Because God knows Google’s never brought out an overly-hyped technology that failed to catch on.

A mouthwatering mock-up video

If your mouth waters at watching this video, you should definitely seek psychiatric attention, but also possibly medical attention.

…of what the device might eventually be capable of shows someone using voice commands to send messages…

Gosh, if only there were a device that would let you do that now.

…take photos, share to Google+…

HAHAHA

…see the locations of friends, view maps, get directions, set calendar reminders, and more.

All while Google watches over your shoulder! Who wouldn’t want that?!

There’s a dozen ways the product could flop, most obviously if the glasses are awkward and unstylish, but also if they’re too heavy, expensive, fragile, or the world is just not quite ready. Let’s forget those for a second.

Uhhhhhh, OK.

Apple should seek to capitalize on Google’s lack of hardware experience, and spend some of its cash reserves to lock up critical component manufacturers. Even if Project Glass ends up an ugly mess, Apple could still make eyeglass computing beautiful.

Because we just blindly—see what the Macalope did there?—assumed this technology is going to catch on.

This technology sure seems like the future, so Apple needs to be ready to pounce.

Right! Just think where Apple would be if it had failed to get into other technologies that seemed like the future. Like netbooks and thin client computers and the Segway and jetpacks and hovercars and the electric musk ox. Thankfully, we don’t live in a world where Apple didn’t produce leading products in each of those categories.

Despite its lack of hardware experience, Google is the best positioned company to make, or at least provide the software for eyeglass computers.

Much as it is winning with Android, so will it win with Project Glass.

That’s why it’s ridiculous when people call Project Glass a diversion or waste of resources.

Well, OK, but can we still call it “butt stupid”?

Seems to me like Google’s vision is 20/20.

Then why do they need glasses?

Oh, right. To show us the ads. Gotcha.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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