The Macalope Daily: Looking for probable cause

The Macalope has long been a fan of the “Apple must” construction, and he’s glad to see it’s still popular.

Information Week’s Erik Zeman gives us the 411 on why the next iPhone will have a bigger screen: “Bigger iPhone Display: Why Apple Has No Choice”

No choice? Really.

Apple will finally increase the size of the iPhone’s display from 3.5 inches to “at least four inches diagonally,” according to the Wall Street Journal.

Finally. What were they thinking?!

At this point, Apple has to increase the size of the iPhone’s display.

Plummeting iPhone sales demand it!

Competing smartphones that run Android and Windows Phone surpassed the 3.5-inch mark years ago. … These newer HD displays work well with HD content that is available from a wide range of content sources, such as the Google Play Store, Netflix, and others. They also look darned good.

As opposed to the iPhone’s Retina display, which looks like ten pounds of crap in a five-pound bag that’s already full of five pounds of crap.

As much as Apple might want to stick to its own guns with respect to screen size and resolution, it would be better for Apple’s customers if Apple conformed to the 1280 x 720 spec that’s quickly becoming the norm for high-end devices.

Because… why? Why is that? As is so often the case in these pieces, Zeman doesn’t say. It just is.

Any parent will tell you that “Because Android OEMs are doing it” is not a valid excuse.

“Why were you out so late?”

“Because Android OEMs were!”

“Is that liquor on your breath?!”

“Hey, the Android OEMs parents let them drink!”

“If Android OEMs jumped off a bridge, would you do it?! WOULD YOU?!”

“Nnnnnno…”

Will it? Probably not, but we can always hold out hope.

You know, Apple may ship an iPhone with a larger screen the next time around. But if it does, it won’t be because Android devices are shipping with ludicrously large screens that require relaxed-fit pants to hold them. Apple is not in the business of chasing niche markets by boxing itself out of larger markets. No, if Apple ships an iPhone with a larger screen, it’ll be because the company thinks it’ll make for a better phone.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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