The Macalope Daily: Values

Are you ready to get all hyperbolic up in this hizzouse?!

Well, the Macalope hopes so, because The Register’s Ian Thomson is here to tell us how “Cook’s ‘values’ memo shows Apple has lost its soul.”

You mean this kind of soul? To be fair to Cook, that’s kind of hard to convey in a memo.

Actually, you will probably not be surprised to find out that Thomson does not define anywhere in the piece what Apple’s soul was supposed to be prior to it being lost by protecting intellectual property. Presumably the company had never filed a patent suit or anything similar in its history ever. Like, say, against Microsoft.

Thomson’s cool with Apple taking full credit for its rightful place in the hierarchy of smartphone creativity, but are there no limits?

As a result, Apple is now the most valuable company on the planet (in part thanks to the declining value of the American dollar), dominates the tablet market, and has the high-end of the smartphone sector locked down. It has also got the most lucrative apps market and reaps 30 per cent on everything sold. Is this not enough?

Translation: I don’t know how capitalism works!

Apple tried to gain the rights on the GUI system and lost that battle, but now it seems it will be doing this for tablet and smartphones. Not even Bill Gates stooped that low.

How is that low? And what about claiming a browser is an integral part of the operating system, a move so “low” that Bill Gates’s company had to submit to an agreement with the Justice Department?

The jury, who were carefully screened to make sure no-one with technical knowledge got on the case…

Oh. Really.

[Jury foreman Velvin] Hogan, who told the court he had served on three juries in civil cases and has two children in their 40s, spent seven years working with lawyers to obtain his own patent covering “video compression software,” a hobby of his. He worked in the computer hard-drive industry for 35 years at companies including Memorex Corp., Colorado-based Storage Technology Corp. and Massachusetts-based Digital Equipment Corp.

Well, that’s weird.

Based on the evidence yes, Samsung copied both the design and the style of Apple’s products, in the same way that Apple always has. The company itself got its start from copying the GUI system developed at Xerox PARC for a small licensing fee…

Do you even read what you write? Those two things are not the same.

You know, the Macalope knows that The Register is inflammatory and that that’s its business model, but there’s inflammatory and then there’s just flat-out wrong and making crap up.

[Editors’ Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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