The Macalope Weekly: Seen it

[With the Macalope Daily freely available this past week, please enjoy this bonus Macalope Weekly column for your reading pleasure. If you missed any of this week’s columns, you can catch up here.]

Shocking as it might seem, some people are apparently not doing the required reading. Pundits, before you type up your brilliant “Apple is doomed” piece, check the Internet to see if, oh, 9,000 other pundits haven’t already said the exact same thing.

Writing for Forbes, Nigam Arora says “Steve Jobs Would Have Never Released iOS 6 Like This” (tip o’ the antlers to Atlas Cerise).

Really? Are we still doing this? Is it possible some writers don’t know how much of a joke the “Steve Jobs would never...” meme has become?

Jobs earned the trust of millions of users that Apple products not only work out of the box, they work well.

Like Mobile Me!

If an imperfection could have been humanly prevented, Jobs prevented it.

Unless the imperfections were antenna-related. Everyone has a blind spot, people!

Because of his penchant for perfection, Jobs was not very popular, some even called him a jerk.

Actually, Jobs was quite popular, and many called him a jerk.

The kind of fortitude Steve Jobs had for perfection seems to have evaporated from Apple.

“Apple products were perfect before Steve Jobs died... PERFECT!” he cried, as his eyes assiduously avoided his old white MacBook with the gaping hole in the frame.

In the just released iOS 6 Apple ditched Google (GOOG) Maps and replaced it with Apple Maps. The graphics and 3D rendering in Apple Maps is a thing of beauty. However, there is one problem–Apple Maps do not always work.

Unlike Google Maps which is always flawless.

If Steve Jobs was alive, would he have introduced Apple Maps with rough edges?

Well, we’ll never know, but the Macalope thinks the first thing he’d do is call you up and chew you a new one for presuming to speak for him posthumously.

Did the meticulousness that went into Apple products die with Steve Jobs? Has Apple squandered the trust of users built up by Steve Jobs over years in one swoop?

These are the important questions for Apple investors to ponder.

Yeah, they seem real concerned about that.

If I were still in my previous life of consulting with CEOs, and Tim Cook were to hire me, I would have advised him to take a page out of Microsoft’s (MSFT) book.

And now we know why you’ll never get hired by Apple to consult. As if they waste much of their money on consultants.

Those Apple bulls who have completely dismissed the fact that Steve Jobs is no longer at the helm of Apple may want to take notice of the Maps fiasco.

Or, they may want to look at the record-breaking pre-orders and what are almost certainly going to be strong sales.

Analysts like Arora seem to think that they alone have some magic Ouija board that tells them and only them when the magic pivot point between Apple being great and it being crap is. Meanwhile, Apple continues to chug along, selling phones and stock like the proverbial cakes that are hot, merrily oblivious to their words.

[Editors’ Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week’s coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

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