The Macalope Daily: Fringe analysis

[Editor's Note: Starting this week, all Macworld readers can look forward to a new Macalope Daily every Tuesday and Thursday, as well as the Macalope Weekly on Saturdays.]

Do you ever read something and wonder if the person who wrote it is a mysterious inter-dimensional traveler from a parallel universe? Well, you’re about to.

“Apple faces backlash from gadget fans” (tip o’ the antlers to Matthew Radford)

You’re probably wondering what Jennifer Dudley-Nicholson from Australia’s News.com.au is talking about. But hang on: We could be just dealing with a bad or overzealous copy editor here. Maybe it’s just the title that …

After a series of iPhone 5 missteps and delays delivering products, the company’s popularity is diving and rivals are scooping up disgruntled Apple fans.

Whoops, nope. It’s her.

Wow! That’s really something to behold, isn’t it? But before you wonder what particular brand of Crazy Flakes Dudley-Nicholson eats in the mornings, remember that Australia is a day ahead of the U.S., so it’s quite possible that she’s right and tomorrow is going to suck for Apple.

But, wait. This was dated December 2nd, so that can’t be right. Maybe Australian readers can help the Macalope out here since it’s been a number of years since he’s been there. Did Australia slip into some alternate Fringe timeline? Just look up: Do you see zeppelins?

Barring that, it may be that this information is coming to Dudley-Nicholson from a pocket universe. Between her ears.

So … a few questions, if you don’t mind, Jennifer.

First, how, exactly, can the company’s popularity be diving when more people than ever are buying iPhones, iPads, and Macs? Yes, year over year, all three are up. Only iPod sales are down, and that ain’t because Zune sales are up.

Second, what is this “series of iPhone 5 missteps” of which you speak?

(Spoiler: We are never told.)

The company’s share of the tablet computer market has fallen to its lowest mark yet …

Which is still more than 50 percent.

… with figures this week revealing consumers flocking to Google …

Is that Google or Amazon? Recall, please, that the Kindle Fire does not run Google Android. In fact, they’re not even allowed to call it Android.

… while Apple also lost the title of smartphone king to Samsung.

Although, it did take the lead in smartphone sales in the U.S.

Experts say the trend could be part of an Apple backlash …

Again, “backlash” is not the word you’re looking for.

… and another sign that gadget fans are “spoilt for choice” this Christmas by competitive products which are hard to split.

Well, when choosing what to give your kids for Christmas, parents, remember that choosy kids choose iPads.

ABI Research senior practice director Jeff Orr said Apple’s launch of the iPad Mini “acknowledged” growing competition from Google tablets but the smaller device has yet to knock them out of the market.

Of course it’s not going to “knock them out of the market.” Amazon and Google are selling the things at cost while Apple’s actually making money on its products—which are still selling quite well, despite the imaginary backlash.

“The iPhone is not a phone for everyone,” [Telsyte research director Foad] Fadaghi said.

No! It’s not! Guess what! No phone is.

“Not everyone likes the Apple brand and Apple products and Samsung has managed to capitalise on that more than any other product maker.”

And not everyone likes a crappy user experience and Apple has managed to capitalize on that more than any other product maker.

But Mr Fadaghi said Apple should not be counted out of the game …

Please. There’s no use denying the severe anti-Apple backlash from zeppelin-riding shape-shifters from an alternate dimension. Stick a fork in them. They’re toast.

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