The Macalope Daily: Look at me!

Just when the Macalope had complimented Forbes for publishing a good piece, it had to go and publish … this. Yes, it’s “management consultant” Peter Cohan standing on the edge of the diving board yelling “Look at me, mom! Mom! Look at me! Mom! Mom! Mom! MOMMMMMMM!” Just before slipping off the end, hitting his head on the end of the board, and landing in the water like a sobbing bundle of wet newspapers.

“With Apple Profit Falling, Board Should Replace Tim Cook with Jony Ive” (Tip o’ the antlers to iHKDesign and The Loop, but no link of course, because the dude suggested replacing Tim Cook with Jony Ive.)

This is not the first time that Cohan has questioned whether or not the guy successfully leading the world’s biggest company is the guy who can successfully lead the world’s biggest company. However, it’s not like Forbes is digging up just anyone to write for it. The guy does know how to use Yahoo PageBuilder, after all. Not very well, admittedly, but he knows how to use it.

Apple (AAPL) is poised to report its first profit drop in a long time.

In Cohan’s defense he wrote this before Apple reported its quarterly results. In Cohan’s detraction, Yahoo PageBuilder boy can’t seem to separate rumor from fact. As it turns out. Profit was flat compared to the prior year, but when you take into account that this year’s quarter was a week shorter, it was actually up slightly.

You’re off to a great start, Peter. Keep going.

This outcome brings into clearer focus the biggest challenge facing Apple’s board: Is Tim Cook the person for the CEO job and if not, who would be better?

What’s Michael Spindler doing these days?

TANNED, RESTED, READY. SPINDLER, 2013.

About those falling earnings—Bloomberg reports that Apple is poised to report a 2% fall in net income for its first quarter to $12.8 billion, or $13.48 a share.

Again, wrong.

With the exception of one quarter in 2003, Apple’s net income has increased at least 10% each quarter. And if that’s not bad enough, Apple is poised to report an 18% sales increase to $54.8 billion, “the slowest growth rate since 2009,” according to Bloomberg.

Close. It was actually $54.5, again with one less week.

Moreover, Apple is locked into a nasty legal battle with Samsung which happens to be a formidable competitor—offering 80 different smart phone models.

Because we all know offering more models just shows how awesome you are! Just think how awesome Samsung would be if it offered 800 different smart phone models!

But this strategy of creating big new revenue streams only worked under Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs used to create three or four new revenue streams before lunch every day! How many has Tim Cook made?! None!

But the problem is figuring out who could do a better job than Cook.

One person to consider …

Is Batman.

… is Jony Ive—Jobs’ product design partner.

Oh? Really? Any drawbacks there, builder of Yahoo pages?

It’s unclear whether Ive has the skills to manage Apple …

Pff. Come on. The Macalope was talking about serious drawbacks.

Now it’s time for Apple’s board to put the person with design skill in the CEO job.

Or … OR, just a thought, the company could put him in charge of Industrial Design and have Tim Cook continue to do what he does best, run the show. You know, exactly what it has done.

Sadly, this dumb argument that only under Steve Jobs could Apple innovate won’t stop being made until Apple reinvents another market. And, realistically, given the intellectual prowess and integrity of the people making it, it probably won’t even end then.

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