The Macalope: Executive statements

Sometimes the Macalope is remiss in focusing on silly pundits so much. Branch out a little, brown and furry one! There’s more to this great big world than the dumb things pundits say!

For example, there’s also the dumb things that executives say.

“BlackBerry chief upbeat (and the iPhone is old hat)”

Hey, we haven’t heard anything crazy from the makers of the iPad-killing BlackBerry PlayBook for a while. Someone should check the pipes on the executive water tap up there because it seems like Thorsten Heins is coming down with the same symptoms of lead poisoning that his predecessors had.

BlackBerry chief exectutive officer Thorsten Heins has said the rapidly advancing global smartphone market has left Apple’s iPhone in its wake …

Uh-huh. The best-selling smartphone. The one with the second largest global smartphone market share and an increasing share of the U.S. market, as well as the global market for all phones. The platform for which most developers ship first. That iPhone.

We are talking about the same iPhone, right? Because maybe he’s talking about that one in Brazil.

Mr Heins said one area that the new BlackBerry phones had surpassed the iPhone was in the ability to multi-task - running multiple apps at once - meaning that users could work in the same fashion on their smartphone as they liked to on a laptop.

Pro tip: If you have to explain to the average user what a feature is, it’s not a feature the average user cares about. And users don’t care about multi-tasking. What they really care about are user experiences like fast app switching and the ability for apps to save states.

“The point is that you can never stand still.”

Because then you lose all your customers and years later have to scramble to ship an operating system that no one cares about.

“Launching BB10 just put us on the starting grid of the wider mobile computing grand prix, and now we need to win it,” Mr Heins said.

In the scheme of “Win, place or show,” you should probably just shoot for “show.”

Heins wasn’t the only one providing executive-level chuckles.

“Samsung Preparing Wristwatch as It Races Apple for Sales.”

“We’ve been preparing the watch product for so long,” Lee Young Hee, executive vice president of Samsung’s mobile business, said during an interview in Seoul.

Really! Gosh, seems like it was just last week when Phil Schiller’s true remarks about Android were considered “defensive.” How defensive does one have to be to broadcast its readiness to compete against a product that doesn’t even exist?

Of course, Samsung is a gigantic chaebol with weapon and mining divisions, so it’s probably working on something that it can say is designed to compete against almost anything.

Lee had no comment on what features the watch may have, how much it would cost and when it would go on sale.

But it’s practically done!

If Samsung ships a Galaxy watch first and then Apple ships an iWatch, let’s just say that the Macalope will be amused to see the differences between the Galaxy Watch I and II.

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