Picture this: Poster for Ashton Kutcher Jobs biopic debuts

As a thought exercise, let’s see what we can divine from the new poster for Jobs. Which, just in case you’ve somehow forgotten, is the movie about the life of the Apple co-founder, starring Two And A Half Men’s Ashton Kutcher. (He plays one of the two-and-a-half men in that program.)

Note: Jobs is not to be confused with the Funny or Die film iSteve where Justin Long played Steve Jobs, or the upcoming Steve Jobs biopic penned by Aaron Sorkin. Or the movie where Steve Jobs is a scrappy penguin just looking to make it in major league baseball. One of those descriptions is not real—until Dreamworks returns my phone calls.

First, the poster:

So, what can we tell? I’d like to offer a few observations:

  • Hey, it’s Ashton Kutcher as old Steve Jobs! Man, that guy is a chameleon.

  • The color-tinting is reminiscent of Andy Warhol’s work, which I’m hoping means this movie is no more than 15 minutes long.

  • Tagline #1: “Some see what’s possible, others change what’s possible.” This is an improvement over my suggested tagline: “Some see what’s changeable, others possibly change what’s seeable.”

  • Tagline #2 (because one just isn’t enough): “Turn on your mind.” Wait, wait, you forgot step one: “Plug in your mind.” (There is no step three.)

  • The eyes! They ... follow you.

  • I remain saddened that no spot for Wilmer Valderrama could be found in this film.

Jobs opens in theaters on August 16th, just six short weeks from now. Has this poster whetted your appetite? Let us know.

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