The Macalope: Fiat dumb

The great thing about writing about Apple is that you can say anything about the company, true or not, and it will become real! Observe.

Writing for CNN, Julianne Pepitone and Adrian Covert say “Apple’s innovation problem is real” (tip o’ the antlers to Rajesh).

It’s real! It is! It’s in a headline so it must be!

Rivals have caught up to Apple (AAPL, Fortune 500) in the markets it once dominated …

What markets did Apple ever dominate in market share? Tablets. That’s it. And how have rivals caught up with Apple in tablets? By selling devices at cost.

Congratulations.

… and the tech giant’s rumored future products appear to be more evolutionary than revolutionary.

We have no idea what we’re talking about and we’re not impressed!

A smartwatch and an “iTV” are intriguing, but they’re niche products that won’t set the world on fire like the iPhone and iPad did.

We just said it, so it must be true!

Plus, the golden days of hockey-stick-like growth in Apple’s core products are over.

There is no limit to the number of things we can say and make true through the mere saying of them!

Aliens walk among us!

Freemasons killed Kennedy!

The government is stealing our precious bodily fluids!

(Actually, that one is true.)

So can the company come up with an exciting innovation to launch itself ahead of the competition once more?

Can the company do what it’s done three times in the past 12 years, something no other company in the technology industry has done?!

Ah, how the Macalope loves the Apple double standard. It’s like a Double Stuf Oreo, but full of wrong instead of delicious cream filling.

Despite its reputation, Apple has rarely been in the business of creating entirely new markets. Apple didn’t invent the PC, the MP3 player, the smartphone or the tablet.

Apple’s reputation is for reinventing markets instead of creating them. Check out their press releases:

Apple has reinvented the mobile phone with its revolutionary iPhone and App Store …

Or use some strawman arguments. Whatever’s easier.

The problem for Apple is that the markets it’s about to jump into are all unproven.

Unlike the highly proven tablet market in 2010. And surely everyone owned a digital music player back in 2001.

Well, whatever Apple announces on Tuesday, you can be sure that someone will make it not impressive by writing about how it’s not impressive.

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