The Macalope: A no-brainer

Apple introduced new phones last week. So, naturally, that reflects badly on Tim Cook.

The San Jose Mercury News’s Troy Wolverton writes “Apple turning timid under new CEO” (tip o’ the antlers to JohnyIveParody).

Because Steve Jobs never would have yadda yadda yadda.

Maybe we should call him “Timid Tim.”

Well, as long as we’re handing out nicknames, why don’t we call you “Terrible Analysis Troy”? Since, you know, that’s what we say to you.

“Terrible analysis, Troy. Just terrible.”

As Tuesday’s iPhone event showed yet again, Apple under CEO Tim Cook is anything but bold.

Even if you don’t think much of the new iPhones, you have to admit that keeping the prices up is bold given the caterwauling for a cheap iPhone.

The company that reeled off one breakthrough after another under the late Steve Jobs and wasn’t afraid to kill off its own successful products to make room for new ones, now seems content to just stay the course.

Uh-huh. Sure. Because Apple will never introduce another new product ever again, times infinity, The End.

“As time has gone on, each of these events has had (fewer) surprises,” said Bob O’Donnell, an analyst with tech research firm IDC. Apple needs to take a risk and “shake things up again.”

Bob then went back to eating Funyuns and watching Family Guy.

Seriously, how much lazier does analysis have to get before a pundit is declared “effectively deceased”?

“Well, he’s not technically dead, but he might as well be. We’re gettin’ zero on this brain wave scanner thingy.”

Apple needs to shake things up again. THANKS, BOB. If only Apple had thought of that.

Rumors have swirled for years that Apple is about to unveil an iWatch or an Apple TV, but it hasn’t released a truly new product since the iPad in early 2010.

Unlike Apple’s competitors which release truly new products that reinvent their market … uh … well …

LOOK! A BUNNY!

Yes, innovation doesn’t happen on a regular time schedule, and many of Apple’s breakthrough products took years of development.

SIGH. I suppose one could “argue” that it’s only a little more than three years since Apple’s last market-shattering product introduction, and that Tim Cook has promised new products this fall and into 2014. But, really, that kind of Apple fanboyism is so jejune.

But the recent drought raises doubt about Cook’s appetite for risk.

Sure. The guy who fired Scott Forstall and let Jony Ive totally remake the company’s most important software product has no appetite for risk.

… Apple still lacks a lineup of differently styled or priced phones.

Perhaps Wolverton is color blind. He’s definitely business-model-blind. And, as a matter of fact, Apple is now selling the iPhone 4 in China for $423. It’s not Android cheap, but it’s cheaper than it’s ever been.

Also, Apple added Japan’s DoCoMo as a carrier and is widely expected to add China Mobile shortly. On the first edition of the Cubed podcast, Ben Bajarin speculated that these deals and the new phones could drive Apple’s fourth-quarter iPhone sales into the 70-80 million range.

Troy? What do you say to that?

… given that much of the future growth in smartphones is expected to come from less-developed countries, a truly low-cost iPhone would seem to be a no-brainer.

Well, you got that right. If not how you intended it.

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