The Macalope: Sources say Apple doomed

Take The Word of an Apple Competitor Week continues apace as The Register’s Paul Kunert weighs in with this:

“Apple will FAIL in corporate land ‘because IT managers hate iPads’” (no link, but tip o’ the antlers to Rajesh).

Caps lock is how The Register feels inside all the time.

Apple’s “very limited success” in penetrating the corporate enterprise market with the iPad reflects the lack of control IT managers feel they have over the device, as well as the dominance of Windows.

That’s just a fact, people! You can’t argue with facts! No matter whose mouth they came out of.

That is, according to HP exec Jos Brenkel …

Ahhh, well, what other unbiased source should we look to? Presumably Microsoft is in too much executive turmoil right now to ask. At any rate, the horny one sees no reason to question this prediction.

He would, however, like to know what kind of hallucinogens the staff at The Register take that makes them think that headline is OK. Because, WOW.

… global senior veep of sales for Printers and Personal Systems, who said no single slab maker has yet cornered the business market.

Least of all HP.

Hey, anyone seen the Macalope’s TouchPad?

“If you look at the share on the tablet market it is majority consumer. … we are playing to win in commercial,” he said.

How’s that going for you?

[grumpy cat animated GIF]

He added that Apple devices had got into workplaces via consumers bringing them into the office, “the pressure is on the user side to integrate Apple into that environment”.

Ugh, that’s totally cheating! Man! Getting users to like their devices. Psh. So dumb.

Well, that’ll last for a while, but smart guys like Brenkel know the only way to hang on to the enterprise market is to make devices users hate.

Brenkel predicted that as Windows 8 “becomes a more tolerable solution for consumers it will be accepted more in the commercial space.”

“Windows 8: now more tolerable.” Which, let’s face it, has always been a good enough rallying cry for Windows in the enterprise.

Canalys surveyed 300 channel firms and found that security concerns and the lack of specific business apps had limited pad penetration in large corporate land, not the cost of equipment or concerns about productivity.

Huh. Well, it sure would be interesting to know which platform is considered to be the most secure, wouldn’t it?

OH, WELL.

Hey, the Macalope was himself surprised at the level of success the iPad has had in the corporate world. But what it shows is that we don’t live in the same world we lived in during the 1990s. There seems to be this sentiment that now that Microsoft has put forth even the most questionable of efforts in the tablet space, that will be “good enough” and the madness that has overtaken corporate America will once again correct itself and things will go back to the way they were in days of yore.

The Macalope wasn’t right before and maybe he’s not right now, but Windows doesn’t win just by being Windows anymore.

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