The Macalope: Samsung Claus is coming to town

Apple better watch out. Apple better not cry. Apple better not shout. Writing for Bloomberg, Mark Milian is telling us why.

“Apple Better Watch Out. Samsung Wastes Little Time” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody).

Apple, as you know, has never faced competition before. Ever. It was born in the void between realities and there it has existed until Samsung.

The Macalope fondly remembers how in the lead-up to the introduction of the Zune …

Wait, remember the Zune? You tell a lot of kids about the Zune nowadays and they’ll say “Get out of here, you crazy old person. You’re crazy. And old. And I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed on school property.”

Anyway, in the lead-up to the introduction of the Zune, there was much premature back-slapping about how Apple was about to get schooled Redmond-style because Microsoft had all the monies, etc., etc. So, yes, while Samsung is quite good at churning out devices like a Rube-Goldberg machine whose primary input is the picture of an Apple device, it’s still not good at what Apple does.

Just six months after Samsung Electronics released its first smartwatch, the company will start selling three more.

It’s all about throwing a bunch of things at the wall and seeing what sticks.

The South Korean electronics giant seems to be flooding the zone in the hopes of running out the clock on Apple before it can release the much-anticipated iWatch.

Or, making them so crappy that it poisons the well.

Of course, the tech industry is very different from the days of the iPod.

Indeed. Time ever marches forward. Soon, you die. It’s all very sad.

For one, Samsung is relentless.

Relentlessly churning out devices of varying quality, relentlessly forcing its ads down your throat, relentlessly paying celebrities to use its devices to take selfies in public before they go back to using their iPhones

It’s also the only other company making any money selling smartphones. For its part, Apple is also relentless. Relentless about making a few great devices and taking most of the profit.

If Samsung keeps releasing a handful of new watches every six months, it might just find a winner.

Sure. Probably about six months to a year after Apple releases a watch.

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