Jumping the gun

Macalope

The reviews of the Apple Watch are in! Writing for the Washington Post, Dominic Basulto hates it!

"Why I’d never buy an Apple smartwatch (even if Anna Wintour loves it)"

Except this was actually written before Tuesday's event. Yes, after describing what we all totally knew for sure about the "iWatch" at 6:30 AM on Tuesday morning, Basulto says:

But I still wouldn’t buy it.

It's always best to make summary judgments on things you know nothing about. That's just logic.

People on Kickstarter build and sell smartwatches these days.

So does Motorola. Google makes an operating system for one.

Are you new here?

But look at how well that “tech accessory as high-end fashion item” turned out for Google Glass.

Uh, yeah, but the problem with Glass might have been that you wear it on your face. And that it's $1500. Wearing a watch, on the other hand, is already socially acceptable and the cost is more manageable.

As any sensible venture capitalist will tell you, it gets dicey when investing in matters of consumer taste.

The Macalope wouldn't say the Apple Watch is knock-out gorgeous, but it's better looking than most of the other smartwatches out there and, more importantly, isn't the size of a Guttenberg Bible.

Secondly, the whole notion that Apple consistently hits home runs out of the park with its product launches is getting a bit old.

Yeah! They should totally stop doing that!

Hosting the event at the Flint Center—where Steve Jobs and Apple launched the Mac back in 1984—seems to be a not-so-subtle hint that Apple’s got its mojo back.

BZZT.

It's pretty obvious the "mojo" never left.

Just remember back to a lot of the old Apple product launches that never delivered on their initial hype. The Newton comes to mind. Or what about the Pippin or the Lisa or the G4?

The G4 was a failure? (He probably means the Cube.) And the other two were 20 and 30 years ago, respectively. Now you're just trying too hard.

Apple is not a first-mover, not a second-mover, and not even a third-mover when it comes to the smartwatch.

It wasn't with digital music players, smartphones or tablets, either. It's a shame Apple didn't have any success in those markets.

And, let’s admit it, watching supermodels wearing iWatches on catwalks sounds like more fun than watching Tim or Craig or Jony on stage.

First of all, Jony doesn't go on stage. Second, Craig always brings it. Third, models certainly would have been better than that bit with Tim Cook and Bono at the end. Yeesh.

However, if the rumors turn out to be true and fashion editors and other fashionistas flock to the event, then you know that Apple is selling the sizzle and not the steak when it comes to smartwatches.

This is the problem with writing an opinion piece about an event that hasn't happened yet.

Dominic Basulto is a futurist and blogger based in New York City.

He's a futurist. Just not the kind who can see more than 3.5 hours into the future.

Hey, nobody has to buy the Apple Watch or even like it. But you should probably actually look at the real thing first.

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