Indefatigable: How do you solve a problem like Gene Munster?

Macalope

Like sands though the hourglass, so are... uh, the percentage points of interest in the Apple Watch.

“Consumer Interest In The Apple Watch Has Been Steadily Declining Since September” (indirect link and tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

Oh, no! Imaginary sales are down!

Apple analyst Gene Munster published the results of a survey of 968 iPhone owners...

Munster is not known for his scientific rigor, having once published results that amounted to sitting in front of a Microsoft Store for two hours.

...asking them if they were interested in buying an Apple Watch. Only 7% of those polled want a watch, and that number has been declining since September:

Precipitously. Well, 3 points. And one thing we know for sure is that no one has ever published a survey about lackluster demand for upcoming Apple products that went on to sell amazingly well. Nope, that’s not a thing.

Munster thinks these numbers suggest Apple sells 10 million Apple watches in year one.

Interesting. What else does Munster think?

”Gene Munster Still Believes in the Apple Television Set, Thinks 2016 Launch Likely“ (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

Other things Munster believes in: That aliens walk among us, the government is controlling our thought patterns through fluoridation in our drinking water, and that his underwear is filled with angry hamsters.

In reality, only the last one is true.

Don’t stop believing, Gene! Shine on, you crazy diamond!

But, no, seriously, seek out a diamond therapist because you may actually be crazy.

The Macalope’s intelligent and well-dressed readers will be astounded to learn that other analysts believe Apple will ship other numbers of this device that it isn’t shipping yet. Turns out estimating things you know very little about is hard! Like children drawing pictures of God, however, analysts keep trying.

Basically, estimates are all over the place.

In other words, they’re useless. But this survey is very meaningful because, uh... [shuffles papers for 15 minutes as if looking for something]... oh, look, the Business Insider Christmas party is starting, gotta run.

The Apple Watch announcement was a big [sic] erratic.

No, the Hulk is a big erratic. The Apple Watch announcement was a bit vague.

Apple didn’t really give a solid reason for anyone to buy one. It didn’t give a real price. It only said it started at $350.

Numbers: What do they even mean? Can $350 be said to be even “real” when the Buddha teaches us that this life is an illusion? The very idea is preposterous!

No one knows how many Watches Apple will sell. Anyone telling you otherwise is a fool or trying to sell something. Possibly both.

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