Take my advice: Do not take this guy's advice

Macalope

We live in a society where people are able to freely speak their minds. That's good! Nay, great, even. As a result, there is no level of wrongness that can legally bar someone from talking about a topic. Take, for example, investing in Apple's stock.

Investment advice guy Charles Sizemore is back with more investment advice. You do not, however, have to take it.

"The Apple Watch Will Be a Flop: Here’s Why Apple Doesn’t Care" (tip o' the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

Amusingly, the DoNotLink code for that piece is "dunb" which is only one letter off.

Just because Sizemore said back in 2012 that Microsoft would beat not only Apple but Google as well in mobile, that does not mean we shouldn't take his thoughts on the Apple Watch serious...

You're laughing. That's very rude. Accurate, of course, but rude. Here's what he said in 2012:

With Nokia, Samsung, and other major manufacturers lining up to produce Windows phones, we will likely see a very different smartphone market a year from now.

And now we are literally awash in a sea of Windows phones, The End.

In fairness to Sizemore, his company was long on MSFT so what else was he going to write, right? A guy's gotta eat. What was his advice about AAPL?

Two weeks ago, I asked "Is it time to dump Apple," and I think the answer is increasingly "yes."

That was in October of 2012. The Macalope will leave it as an exercise for readers to go look up how much AAPL has gone up since then but the answer is 53 percent. So, perhaps Sizemore's advice was aimed at those looking to shed their material possessions in order to lead a more zen lifestyle.

But thats in the past! This is the now! Analysis, you see, is like a shark in that it only ever moves forward and never looks back. A big, stupid shark. One that is possibly full of bees of stupidity.

Underwater bees of stupidity.

The bees also do not look backwards.

So, what shark/bee combination is Sizemore offering now? To summarize, he doesn't think Apple can sell as many Apple Watches as the company is rumored to be shooting for.

The Wall Street Journal reported this week that Apple had asked its suppliers in Asia to make 5-6 million Apple Watches for next quarter’s launch, of which nearly a fifth would be the high-end Edition.

...

But is it realistic?

Probably not...

So, just to make sure we're all on the same page here, the guy who predicted big things for Windows Phone says the Apple Watch won't be able to meet rumored sales expectations so it'll be a "flop". Oh, and just to add some spices to this contrived paella of fevered dreams, Apple won't be breaking out Watch sales figures in its financial reports, so analysts will have to estimate them. That should go flawlessly and the Macalope won't have to order another desk because this one will get destroyed from banging his antlers against it.

Once again, Sizemore is offering advice on AAPL instead of bursting into metaphorical flames of shame.

Is there a trade here?

Maybe. If Apple Watch sales come in lower than expected, Wall Street might dump AAPL stock in a short-sighted temper tantrum.

Well, no offense, Charles, but the Macalope is going to suggest that maybe people should not be taking investment advice from you, seeing as your published advice has been kinda cuckoo bananas. The Macalope will (really this time) leave it up to readers to decide if they want to take the counsel of the cartoon with a Classic Mac with antlers as a head or the guy who thought Windows Phone was poised to rocket past Android.

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