Un-special K: Another non-iPhone killer

Macalope

Who else would you turn to other than Rob Enderle to tell you what is or is not an iPhone killer?

“One Plus Two Equals Trouble for the iPhone” (tip o’ the antlers to Steve Boothe)

Literally everyone? OK. That’s a good policy.

If you thought the iPhone was the most desirable phone in the market you wouldn't be alone, but you likely would be wrong.

Likely. Maybe. Who knows? Rob doesn’t know. But you’re probably wrong. Let’s just assume you’re wrong. Rob’s got a column to bang out.

While we all were snoozing, One Plus emerged.

Well, to be fair, it was in China so it was like the middle of the night in the U.S.

The end result is that 3.6M people currently are lined up -- virtually -- to buy its latest phone, the One Plus Two. To put that in perspective, that is more people than Apple sold phones to in the launch year of the iPhone…

So they’re only 8 years behind Apple! LOOK OUT!

Also, the Macalope feels compelled to point out two things here. First, this is their second phone. So a more apt comparison would be to the iPhone 3G, not the original iPhone. Second, all these people did was give OnePlus their email address. There’s no purchase commitment to this offer. Wake the horny one when they actually buy one when it comes out next year.

[Warning: Do not actually wake a Macalope ever unless you want a groin full of antler.]

The title "iPhone killer" has been overused…

You cannot help but smell the big but.

…but in this case it is appropriate…

This time for sure.

…because one of the campaigns at the One Plus One launch showed users of high-end phones like the iPhone destroying their phones on video in order to get the opportunity to get one of these rare new phones.

What these videos show is people each destroying a high-end phone. But, really, probably not “their phones” unless we’re to presume they’re going phone-less until this thing ships next year. Three of the four videos in this article about the promotion aren’t even available anymore and the fourth shows a man destroying what appears to be an iPhone 3GS. Another video Enderle linked to does show an iPhone 5S being destroyed, but that video was produced by a company selling iPhone and OnePlus skins, not an individual. A search on YouTube reveals a few dozen videos of individuals smashing a variety of phones in the name of this contest. There are dozens of them! Dozens!

Rob has always been a little math and reality challenged so it probably is necessary to note that that’s not a very large number out of the billions of people who own smartphones. Basically, the makers of the OnePlus staged a gimmick and Rob said “Gimmick accepted!”

On this iPhone 5 video, the death was far quicker and far less tortured or artistic -- and it was done in Spanish!

Madre de Dios!

This is seriously amazing.

It’s seriously something, that’s for sure.

Would you destroy a working iPhone for a new Samsung, LG or HTC phone?

Would the Macalope destroy a six year old iPhone to get a brand new Android phone? Well… no. Not unless he had two. But a lot of people would and with good reason.

…this new Android phone seems to be lighting the world -- and I literally mean the world -- on fire.

Do you literally mean on fire, too?!

It used to be that Apple products were relatively exclusive, but as Apple grew to dominate the smartphone market…

Apple dominates the smartphone market is a thing he just wrote.

You know, it takes great mental fortitude to navigate the ever-shifting sands of Apple doom. Android has the most market share but somehow it’s Apple that dominates the market and is always poised at the precipice of being dethroned. You read an argument like this and wonder, how many clowns are in this car, exactly? Answer: All the clowns. All of them.

…it lost a good chunk of that cachet.

Rob’s suggestion, apparently, is that Apple sell fewer iPhones to increase its cachet. Apple would then take that cachet to the bank. The bank would say “What the hell is this?” Apple would wink and reply “It’s cachet. I’d like to deposit it into my account.” Apple would wink once again and then security would throw Apple out of the bank.

Here’s the Macalope’s prediction: This phone will have almost no impact on Apple at all. It’s just another drop into the overflowing bucket of Android phones that Apple hardly even competes with because it owns the high end of the market. So while people may have crunched a handful of actual iPhones, it’s no iPhone killer, just like all the ones before it.

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