Out of touch: The iPad Pro’s premature failure


The iPad Pro has only been out for a week and a half but it’s already time to stick a pro-sized fork in it, thereby voiding the warranty.

Writing for SeekingAlpha, Alex Pitti explains why the “iPad Pro Is A Bust.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody.)

In an article last year, I advised Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) to create a touchscreen laptop.

Yeah, they’re… not going to do that any time soon.

Anyway, who really wants one?

Touchscreen laptops are popular with Windows users.

So are stickers, crapware, inconsistent user interfaces and taking pride in how fast you can re-image a computer, apparently.

Let’s put exactly the right amount of fine on this point: Apple doesn’t care what Windows users think they like.

Some can detach from the keyboard to be used as a tablet.

Clumsily. Like using an open-faced sandwich as a mouse pad.

A device cannot serve two masters. Which is your device’s master, the mouse or the finger? Saying both at the same time just leads to madness.

Most reviewers have been confused about what the point of the device is and who the target demographic is.

The first link is a YouTuber who had his for 48 hours, is seemingly not a pro user (“I read books on here and I watch Netflix and Hulu and that is really it.”) and whose biggest complaint is that he can’t get iPad Pro accessories. The second is from the Macalope’s pal Jeff Carlson that was written in September, months before he had one. It’s not a review.

Another reason for the confusion was Tim Cook's statement that the iPad Pro could replace your PC. This is not true for a lot of users.

But is true for a lot of other users.

It doesn't even support a mouse as the keyboard doesn't have a trackpad.

Gosh, if only people knew how iOS worked by using another iOS-based device. Alas, no one has done so.

Obviously, it isn't great that Apple won't be able to stem the tide of declining iPad sales with the iPad Pro…

Will. Not.

Seriously, if it hasn’t done so in 10 days, what do you think is going to happen in 100? It will have sold more? Please. Your ignorance of math is comical.

…but this blunder sets a bad precedent for Apple, which thrives off a stellar brand image.

They have never made any mistakes before ever. This is a provably true thing that everyone knows.

Tim Cook recently described the Microsoft Surface Book by saying, "It's a product that tries too hard to do too much. It's trying to be a tablet and a notebook and it really succeeds at being neither. It's sort of diluted." This differs from what the reviewers have stated, as CNET gives it a 4 out of 5 and TechRadar Pro gives it a 4.5 out of 5…

Interesting. The Macalope wonders what they gave the iPad Pro. Well, that’s probably not something worth looking at.


OK, let’s.

Turns out (turns out!) CNet gave the iPad Pro… huh, 4 out of 5.

And can you guess what rating TechRadar Pro gave the iPad Pro? Can you? Can you?

Can you?!

That’s right, 4.5 out of 5. So, if Tim Cook is out of touch with what people like, then Alex Pitti is equally out of touch. Which is kind of the nicest thing you can say about this piece.

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