An appointment with disappointment: Reaction to the iPhone SE is predictable


If you had “iPhone SE will be derided by pundits as a failure” in the pool then congratulations! You’re a winner!

And by “winner” the Macalope means “loser” as we now have to wade through this together.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network, the place that to-date has categorically disproved the infinite monkeys theory, Ewan Spence says:

“iPhone SE Disappoints On Opening Weekend.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip Speicher.)

Naturally. Ironically, anything other than a disappointment would have been truly disappointing. This is the Forbes paradox.

The iPhone SE’s impact has been much lower than previous iPhone handsets.

Oh. An off-season iPhone with already released specs targeted largely at non-U.S. markets and slow upgraders didn’t sell like the top-of-the-line models released for the holiday buying season? This is indeed worrisome and if someone isn’t asking for Tim Cook to resign by lunchtime then somebody at Forbes is asleep at the wheel.

Or, well, awake at the wheel, as the case may be.

A Forbes writer not driving through the guardrail while going around a sharp curve on Mt. Blazzlefrozzle and subsequently not exploding spectacularly over Histrionics Gorge would be a strange day indeed.

It should be noted that Localytic’s numbers do not necessarily tell the whole story.

The Macalope will take “Things That Somehow Never Get Into The Headline” for $500, Alex.

The dataset is derived from its mobile engagement platform which requires applications, games and services that use the Localytics platform to be installed.

So, we really have absolutely no idea. Glad we had this chat, then.

Localytics own headline, “iPhone SE Fails to Make A Splash”, is at least a bit more accurate. This phone isn’t designed to make a splash.

Actually, even though they’re not waterproof, all iPhones are designed to hit the water like an Olympic diver. Steve Jobs always insisted that moment of despair when your iPhone falls into the toilet should also be experienced beautifully.

Yet Apple pitched this as an iPhone that could do the same as the current flagships…

Uh, yeah, in terms of performance, not sales. Which is exactly what it can do. Apple did not publicly predict how many units it would sell.

More than any other iPhone released by Cupertino, the SE is about the long tail of sales, not the out-of-the-gate performance.

Ah, so that “disappoints” in the headline is more about Forbes’ business model than Apple’s.

Apple has ensured that the iPhone SE has avoided the critical drubbing the iPhone 5C received…

A phone that actually did pretty well but was a failure in the eyes of pundits because, like the SE, it didn’t sell as well as its larger siblings. You see, if Apple releases something that doesn’t immediately sell as well as its top-of-the-line products, then it’s a failure. This is just obvious.

You know this, Margaret. We covered this material the first day of class. You’re never going to graduate from Forbes Prep if you don’t pass and you’ll never go on to write for the Forbes contributor network and RUN, MARGARET, RUN LIKE THE WIND.

…but in the process it has traded away Apple’s unique visionary status and the company is one step closer to being seen as little more than ‘another hardware manufacturer.’

The Macalope has a hard time swallowing this to any of his four stomachs when even the bad reviews claim the iPhone SE is the best 4-inch smartphone on the market.

The problem is not that Apple doesn’t know how to innovate anymore. It’s that, just like the market for desktop computers and laptops, the smartphone market has matured. It’s a shame the analysis hasn’t also.

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