Piping those dreams: Android wins it all

It's only a matter of time.

Macalope

You gotta have faith that the Good Lord will provide and that your pet operating system will one day reign supreme.

Writing for TechCrunch, Matt Heiman explains “How Android gets to 100% market share.”

Does it involve magic? It probably involves magic.

Heiman is “an angel investor and an MBA student at Stanford,” so sit up straight and pay attention. He could be taking a lunch meeting right now instead of educating you yahoos (who probably went to state schools) on how to write Google fan fiction.

Android already commands over 80 percent of the mobile OS market share globally, and just under 60 percent in the US. But you wouldn’t know it here in Silicon Valley—almost everyone I know has an iPhone.

Certainly that can’t last. They’ll come to their senses any day now.

As the consumer technology landscape evolves over the next five years, however, there are a number of reasons to believe that Android, and the Google stack more broadly, could take an even greater share and become the platform of choice, even here.

Your Android slashfic is stilted and forced, its situations overly complicated and unbelievable. One star.

Anecdotally…

[slide whistle]

…one of the most frequently cited reasons among iPhone users for staying with iOS is that they love the “blue bubbles.”

So, yeah, that’s probably why 50 million people a quarter buy iPhones. Seems right. Go on.

Does this story sound familiar? A mobile hardware manufacturer with a proprietary OS and a captive OTT messenger application? Research in Motion, now known as Blackberry…

See how easy this is to figure out? The only reason people use iPhones is Messages, ergo Apple is Blackberry. Quod erat demonstrandum, quid agis, klaatu barada nikto on a ham sandwich.

…there is a possibility that in the coming years [Android] fragmentation will be significantly reduced…

Shortly after Ubuntu becomes the desktop standard.

…in a world where individuals buy their own phones at full retail price, they are likely to be much more price-sensitive.

Commoditization of the smartphone industry is always just a few months away. The theory cannot fail, it can only be failed by a weak-willed reality.

…there are a number of emerging trends which could mean that Google, rather than Microsoft or Apple, could be the desktop OS of the future.

And did you know that some frozen pizzas are just as good as the fresh-baked kind you get in a classic Italian pizzeria? Well, they aren’t, but it’s a thing you can say seemingly consequence-free. The world is not just, people. You will not get attacked by a swarm of flesh-eating gnats for writing ridiculous stuff on the Internet. It should happen, but it doesn’t.

Apple is the world’s most valuable brand and has consistently been at the forefront of device innovation over the last two decades. But…

…things Apple nay-sayers have been saying will happen forever are surely going to happen real soon now. Just hang in there and all my pet theories will be proven true. Provided Apple sits still as it always does in these scenarios.

That really is some bubble thinking there.

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