SLIDESHOW

10 absurd gifts for the Apple fan you're not sure you like

Have cash to spare? Feeling both magnanimous and passive-aggressive? Consider these over-the-top gadgets and accessories.

absurd gifts
Credit: VioNet
Absurd gifts for Apple fans

Buying a straightforward tech gift for your friends or family members is easy. There are a slew of affordable fitness trackers, laptop bags, and all the other gadgets and accessories your iPhone-addicted loved ones could ask for.

But there’s an untapped category of tech gifts: over-the-top, extravagant, or otherwise ridiculous options for the Apple fan you love to hate (or just…sort of dislike but have to buy a gift for).

If you’re in that boat, we’ve got you covered. Read on.

phone bed
Credit: Thrive Global
A bed for your phone

Huffington Post founder Arianna Huffington’s new venture, Thrive Global, is all about well-being at work. Getting enough sleep is a huge part of being a productive employee, Thrive says. Sounds accurate. To help you get more rest, the company’s shop is selling a $100 accessory to make “putting our smartphones to bed a regular part of our nightly ritual.”

This $100 Phone Bed charging station looks like an actual bed and comes with a satin-clad mattress, dual-sided microfiber and satin cleaning cloth/blanket, and velvet-lined compartments. It’s a bed. For your devices.

This is the perfect passive-aggressive gift for the iPhone addict in your life. It’s the ultimate way to say, “Give your selfies a rest already.”

selfiemic
Credit: Selfie Mic
Next-level selfie stick

Know someone who’s a little too into themselves? Give them the gift of a selfie stick on steroids: the Selfie Mic.

This gadget attaches to an iPhone or iPod like a standard selfie stick does, but instead of a handle to hold the camera in place, it puts a microphone in your hand. A corresponding app has a library of tunes so you can sing your heart out and record yourself while doing so.

This device is designed for kids, but would make the perfect gift for an aspiring singer (whether or not they’re any good).

goldgenie case
Credit: Goldgenie
All gold everything

Goldgenie’s motto is “luxury gifts for the ungiftable,” and nothing screams luxury as much as a 24-karat gold iPhone 7 does.

Forget Apple’s gold alumnium finish. For the low, low price of $3,068.16, you can get an iPhone made of real gold. (Why is Donald Trump still on Android when this is an option? We’ll never know.) You can up the ante with the $19,200 iPhone 7 Diamond Megastar edition, which comes embedded with 800 diamonds and comes with a VIP concierge service membership to book hotels, restaurant reservations, or any other lifestyle decision you need help with.

Bonus: You only need to put down a 50 percent deposit to snag this gem—although if you can’t pay up-front, maybe a gold iPhone isn’t the smartest gift you can buy.

fur iphone case
Credit: Wild and Woolly
The most luxurious iPhone case

Can’t afford an iPhone made of solid gold? We’re in the same boat. Not to worry: You can still impress your friends with the gift of a fox fur iPhone case!

For just $385, you can buy the coziest, fluffiest iPhone 6/6s/7 case made of real blue fox fur and handcrafted to order by professional fur craftsmen. This is not the best gift for vegans or those opposed to fur. This is a good gift if you want to re-create a Sex and the City moment and send PETA after your frenemy.

The Wild and Woolly case is available on Spring, which accepts Apple Pay for the ultimate convenience.

aura frame
Credit: Aura
Super-smart photo frame

Digital photo frames can be cheap and gimmicky, but Aura's new 8 x 12 frame is smarter than the rest because it uses an algorithm to filter out nudes from your iPhone Camera Roll. If you have a friend or relative with a penchant for embarassing themselves, this could be the perfect gift.

The frame is also intelligent enough to skip over blurry photos and select ones with faces in them to display, and can sense when you enter or leave a room so you'll always see a fresh photo.

Aura's frame is $400. Yes, $400 for a picture frame. Happy holidays!

thumb coach
Credit: Oscar Raymundo
A hand workout

Fitness accessories make perfect holiday gifts because who doesn’t plan to get in shape starting Jan. 1? But one part of your body is neglected by activity trackers and workout gear: your thumbs. Enter Thumb Coach, a pint-sized workout machine that will strengthen your digits and make your texting addiction less detrimental to your health.

We here at Macworld have used the Thumb Coach and can attest that it does put your hands through a challenging workout. You may get bewildered glances when you give this gift to a tween or parent, but the Thumb Coach just might be the sleeper hit of the holiday season. It’s a stress-reliever at the very least.

pryme vessyl
Credit: Vessyl
If Apple designed water bottles

Have a health-conscious environmentalist on your shopping list this season? Consider this: a $100 smart water bottle that looks like (and is priced like) an Apple product.

The Vessyl Pryme is a Bluetooth beverage container with a Fitbit- and HealthKit-compatible Pryme app to send you notifications about your hydration levels.

It is necessary? Maybe not. You can certainly find water bottles and reusable to-go coffee cups for much cheaper. But…just look at it! This bottle even has its own ecosystem of accessories, like a special carrying case or colorful spill-resistant lid. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

megaphonemini
Credit: en&is
An old-fashioned portable speaker

If your loved one has a Bluetooth speaker on his/her holiday wishlist, think outside the box and consider this Italian-designed ceramic megaphone for your iPhone. It amplifies the phone’s sound so you can listen to music around your house in a spectacularly lo-fi manner.

The €400 megaphone is a little pricy, but Apple is all in with ceramic (see the new Apple Watch Series 2), and this accessory could double as a work of art, or the very least a conversation piece.

If that’s too steep, en&is makes a portable mini version for €200 perfect for carrying in a backpack. Again, it’s a conversation starter.

cyrano
Credit: Vapor Communications
Upgrade from candles

Here’s a high-tech way to address an odorous friend: Cyrano is an iPhone-connected device that emits scents based on the mood selected in the device’s corresponding app, called oNotes.

You put this $100 gadget in a car cup holder or around the house, stick a 12-scent cartridge in the device, and then use the app to create a personalized “mood medley.” It’s like a smart version of a Glade plug-in.

The novelty of Cyrano might overpower your friend’s suspicions that this scented gift is a strong hint that something smells sour.

claridges jony ive
Credit: Claridge's
A very Jony Ive Christmas

What to give the Apple fan who actually does own everything? A night in a luxury suite—complete with free champagne!—at the high-end London hotel Claridge’s.

A gift certificate will run you £1,450, but it could be worth it if your loved one is a devotee of Apple design. Claridge’s commissioned Apple design chief Jony Ive and industrial designer Marc Newson to design the annual Christmas tree installation in the hotel lobby. Ive and Newson took a decidedly minimalist approach to the tree, but of course an Apple tree would reject ornaments and lights in favor of the purity of nature. Or whatever.