Unfocused: A spray of complaints about Apple products

Nobody buys Apple products anymore. Too popular.

Macalope

You ever have an idea and then look into the idea and realize it really wasn’t much of anything and you had to discard it? Well, then you can’t write for Business Insider because you went a step too far.

Writing for the wonderful people and Apple doom seers and fabulists and the man known simply as “Gordy” at Business Insider, Dave Smith says “Apple is losing its focus again—and this time, there’s no Steve Jobs coming to the rescue.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Susie Ochs and @JonyIveParody.)

Apple was a disaster before Steve Jobs returned to the company he helped start decades earlier.

True. Smith gives a history lesson that you’ve probably heard before: When Jobs returned to Apple, he axed a slew of products and projects in order to restore focus and shed expense. There. That’s the history lesson.

Today, Apple sells about 46 models of its various hardware products, from phones to tablets to watches and computers and beyond.

Is that a lot? For a company Apple’s size, that doesn’t seem like that much, particularly since you’re probably padding that number with color options. This is the entire crux of Smith’s argument and he doesn’t explain the number at all or provide historical context to show that it’s substantially larger than it used to be under Steve Jobs. Which is kind of important. If this is scope creep, then it started under Jobs.

But more important than the sheer number of products is the number of legitimate complaints about these products.

Nobody complains about any other company’s products, that’s for sure. Like, say, phones that explode. Just as an example. Everyone was very happy with those.

Many iPhone 6 and iPhone 6s owners are complaining about a bug that essentially shuts down the phone even when it has a lot of battery life left.

Many! How many? Many!

The MacBook Pro. … Customers and fans are not happy.

Some people don’t like things about the new MacBook Pro! Why, then they must be easy to get since they’re so objectively horrible. No, turns out they’re still back ordered one to two weeks. Apparently having complaints about something doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t like it. (For what it’s worth, the Macalope loves his.)

AirPods.

Complaining about AirPods is simply shorthand for “I do not have AirPods.” Now, please enjoy some concentrated, weaponized conventional wisdom.

Apple missed the October release window for its first pair of wireless earbuds. They just went on sale last week, but they cost $130 more than Apple’s wired earbuds, plus they’re ugly to look at and easy to lose. People are better off buying the wired pair.

Dude. No. No, no, no, no, no. Ask someone who actually has AirPods. They are what the kids until recently might have called “amazeballs” but the kids are probably saying something else now that they will rudely not let the Macalope know about until it has become passé.

The horny one has AirPods and he can say that the only problem he’s had with them so far is that they’re so great he wants to keep them in his ears all the time but they do not have infinite battery life. Pretty much the icing on the cake of first world problems. And he’s had them for a few days now and has managed not to lose them because he’s not a toddler.

Again, if they suck so bad, why are they so hard to get?

Some of Smith’s complaints about Apple products are perfectly valid. Many are nonsense. You’ll be happy to know, though…

There’s still time to turn this around.

Oh, thank God! The company with huge profits and mountains of cash isn’t about to go out of business! What a relief.

If you tried really hard, you could probably find things to complain about over a video of Benedict Cumberbatch snuggling with a litter of Corgi puppies. “Poor lighting! No plot!” That doesn’t mean it isn’t still a video of Benedict Cumberbatch snuggling with a litter of Corgi puppies.

Alas, such a thing does not exist to the Macalope’s knowledge. But these Apple products do and most of them, even if they have some flaws, are still great.

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