The Janus explanation: It’s Microsoft or Apple

Macalope

What is the law? The law is that if anyone does well at anything, it must be at Apple’s expense. That is the law.

Writing for CIO, Sarah K. White explains “How Microsoft rebounded to outshine Apple.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Jack Broyles, Jr.)

And now, a lede from Microsoft’s marketing department.

Microsoft claims that more people are switching to Surface devices from Macs than ever before.

1 times 2 is 2! Zero plus 1 is 1!

Now Microsoft owes Amazon a quarter for using their patented “We’re awesome, no, we won’t give you numbers to back it up” formula.

White harkens back to the Surface’s humble beginnings.

…the Surface RT did so poorly that Microsoft had to take a $900 million dollar write-down after drastically cutting the price of the device.

Ahhh, good times. Prince, Bowie and Carrie Fisher were still alive. Things made sense back then.

Unlike this crappy timeline we’re in now. On the other hand, this goatee is pretty jaunty.

But, yeah, Microsoft persevered and the Surface is doing well now. But its award should really be “Most Improved” as Apple still makes vastly more money selling Macs. Notice, of course, we’re only talking about computers. Smartphones aren’t included presumably because that would be unfair to poor Microsoft.

For a company once targeting modern, creative professionals, it's hard to tell who Apple makes products for anymore.

If you never understood who they made products for in the first place.

Apple's devices now feel tailored to a low-tech crowd, or people who like new tech, but just aren't that interested in specs.

That’s basically who they’ve always made products for, at least during their periods of success. Sure, they also made higher end devices for professionals, too, and it’s questionable whether or not they’re still in that market, but the fat part of their market has been people who want devices that are easier and more elegant.

…at this point, you can get more for your money in graphics and performance on a Surface Book than a Macbook Pro.

Wait, you’re saying PCs cost less that Macs?! This is indeed shocking. Someone should look into this breaking news.

If the iPad Pro is competing with hybrid notebooks like the Surface Pro 4, but Apple doesn't think people want touch-displays on a notebook, then does that make the iPad Pro a giant iPad?

Uh… it literally is a giant iPad. It’s just that you can do professional work on a giant iPad, despite what you might have heard.

Microsoft has clearly made a push to get the Surface in front of consumers anyway possible…

Yes, and they paid to do that. Like, absurd amounts of money. They also did that with Windows Phones. How’d that work out?

There are some very good reasons the Surface devices are doing well and they mostly have to do with them being a solid competitor to devices from Windows OEMs, the kind of plastic-y, crapware-infested, VGA-port-sporting, IT-monkey-approved garbage circuses that Windows users have had to use for years. 2016 was not a great year for Apple in the professional space and the company will have to try a lot harder (or at all) in 2017 if it still wants to be in that market. But Microsoft’s fortunes and Apple’s misfortunes are not always perfectly related.

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