Here’s how the Macalope imagines the conversation went down.
Editor: “How can we talk about iPhone rumors while still being the biggest jerks about it as possible?”
Steve Kovach: “Hold my beer.”
Yes, writing for the fine people and semi-intelligent killer monkey robots and Videos You May Like at Business Insider, Kovach says “Apple is turning the iPhone into a Samsung Galaxy phone.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @designheretic.)
Kovach also has a pet theory about how a time-traveling Joseph Conrad ripped off “Apocalypse Now” when writing “Heart of Darkness”.
After years of accusing Samsung of cribbing its designs and ideas…
Hmm, yes. “Accusing.” Also “winning summary judgements in courts of law”.
…Apple seems to be looking to its smartphone rival for inspiration for the next iPhone.
Rumors are like facts except more bendy.
The Wall Street Journal dropped a big report on Tuesday…
Is that a euphemism? If it is, gross.
Pro tip for budding pundits out there: Call rumors “a report” to make them seem official. They’re not, of course, but it’ll seem like they are.
Let's break it down…
This is already pretty broken down, but OK.
What is Apple definitely totally copying from Samsung?
A curved screen.
Yes, the Galaxy Note Edge and Galaxy S6 had curved screens and if you think the iPhone 8 will look like either of those, the Macalope has an only slightly damaged bridge on the river Kwai he would like to sell you. Comes with a free train!
The iPhone 8 will reportedly also contain “metal” which Samsung invented.
USB-C. … This would be the most Samsung-y move Apple has ever made.
Which is probably a good sign that Apple is not going to do it. Most of the smart money is on the idea that Apple will change the other end of the connector to USB-C.
Alas, we do not cover the smart money here in this column. Just all this dumb money.
Which includes wireless charging and removing the physical home button.
OK. Ugh. Look. In the instances where Samsung copied Apple it was not specific technologies, but look and feel. Assuming the iPhone 8 has these features, you can call this copying Samsung if you want, but the only reason an iPhone 8 might look anything like a Samsung phone is because Samsung stole the look and feel of the iPhone eight years ago.
Apple’s whole raison d’être (Latin for “There’d better not be any raisins in this cookie”) is taking existing technologies, polishing them and packaging them into a compelling product. Apple uses technologies that have already been used all the time. It’s how they use them that’s different.