News you can lose: The last name in Apple analysis

Macalope

The big WWDC keynote was more than a week ago but we’re just now getting the most definitive analysis on it, brought to you by an analyst with his finger on the pulse of…

No, just kidding, it’s Rob Enderle.

“Hearing Crickets at Apple’s WWDC and a Pin Drop in the Senate.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Shawn King.)

Apple is becoming more and more like a typical tech firm—that is, long on technology and short on magic.

Hey. Hey, Rob. Rob. Hey.

Hey.

Magic isn’t real.

People pay this guy for technology advice and he thinks magic is real. Unbelievable.

“Hey, Rob, here’s $10,000. How do we gain a competitive advantage in the market?”

“I shall give you a stone. A magic stone.”

What I thought was particularly interesting was…

Get ready for some serious clown horn honking from Rob Enderle and his All Clown-Horn Orchestra!

Honk-honk!

…how much more excited the audience seemed to be about Apple’s diversity announcement at the start than the product announcements later on.

Maybe that’s because Apple has more ground to make up in diversity than in their product line.

It would have been more interesting if it had addressed how little app developers have been making on Apple products.

As opposed to the Google Play store or the Windows Store?

Oh, and Siri is coming to the Mac, years after Microsoft launched Cortana on Windows. Given Siri is older, it still amazes me that Cortana got on the Mac first. Better late than never, I guess...

[Looks at Siri icon in macOS Sierra.]

[Checks date on Enderle piece again to make sure it’s about this year’s WWDC.]

The Macalope was going to suggest Rob must have done zero research before writing this but it’s possible he did less than zero by getting drunk or just banging on his head with a hammer.

The WWDC audience seemed to get most excited when a speaker left the stage... Granted, the keynote went on for hours.

Two hours! Can you believe that?! And twenty minutes! Where do they get off?

Oh, Microsoft’s most recent Build conference keynote, by the way, was two hours and forty-eight minutes long.

(He just doesn’t care.)

I couldn’t help but think that given Apple’s massive financial margins and new $5K PC, the people who were being “enriched” weren’t exactly Apple customers.

The $5,000 PC that’s only $300 more than the build-it-yourself option that runs Windows 7.

Ultimately, throwing facts at a Rob Enderle piece about Apple is like that old joke about trying to teach a pig to dance. But sometimes the lessons are kind of funny.

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