Knowables: The Apple Watch must be a flop

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Credit: IDG

It can be headache-inducing trying to follow the Cirque du Soleil-level contortions tech pundits go through to turn Apple’s successes into failures. Take, for example, the dogged determination to declare the Apple Watch a flop.

Writing for Market Realist, Rachel Gunter takes “A Look at Apple’s Hurdles in the Smartwatch Business.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip Speicher.) Remember that looking is the only thing you can do askance.

Apple insists that the Apple Watch is popular

Very sad. They’ve clearly lost touch with reality.

These software updates no doubt show that Apple is trying its best to make people interested in the Apple Watch.

Something we know to be impossible. Look, when these narratives have been decided on, they can’t be unraveled. That’s simply not done.

Independent researchers have also appeared to support Apple’s watch business success.

All reasonable estimates show the Apple Watch having outsold the Amazon Echo, which is considered by all pundits throughout the lands to be a huge hit. Yet the Apple Watch is a flop. This seems to not stand up to logic until you accept the simple fact that monkeytown the cucumber banana bongo.

Just keep rereading that until this analysis starts to make sense. Oh, and take these dangerous drugs.

So, Apple says the Watch is selling well and analytics firms say it’s selling well. What’s the question we really need to be asking?

Why people are resisting the Apple Watch

I know I’ve been presented with all these facts buuuuut I’m still more comfortable with my preconception so let’s just go with that.

UBS interviewed 8,000 Smartphone users in May 2017 and discovered that the major reason people weren’t purchasing the Apple Watch was that they feel they didn’t need it…

What the survey said was that of the people surveyed who hadn’t bought an Apple Watch, the largest percentage — 48 percent — said it was because they didn’t need one. Here’s something else UBS said:

The Apple Watch is bigger than every Swiss watch brand except Rolex, analysts at the bank said in a note on Monday.

In fact, UBS’s report is pretty positive for Apple since even Business Insider titled their report on it “Apple is crushing the Swiss watch industry”.

But, when you’re presented with a pile of Fruity Pebbles, you just have to sift through it until you find that elusive burnt one.

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