The MacalopeMacworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

The doom train: Nothing can stop Apple doom

All aboard! No record results can keep the Apple doom train from making its scheduled stops!

The blame game: Everything is Apple's fault

Do you even have to ask?

Goal posts of the imagination: Innovation means shipping

Microsoft makes some cool demos. Call the Macalope when they ship.

The bogeyphone: A threat to Apple that isn't

Another wacky idea, another imaginary threat to Apple.

Never say never again: Putting words in Steve Jobs' mouth continues apace

Jobs' thoughts brought to you by the people who understood him least.

Those who do not study history: Apple devices are usually different

We know the Apple Watch will stink because all current smartwatches stink. QED.

Supremely wrong: Getting the iPhone wrong at its birth

Looking back at some of the worst reaction to the iPhone's announcement eight years ago.

Dead already: Future Apple products never stand a chance

Why does Apple even bother making new products when they all come pre-failed?

Things we know for sure: The thoughts of Steve Jobs are not in this set

Few people know what Steve Jobs might have thought about things. They certainly aren't your average pundits.

Regrets, I've had a few: A case of opinion overload

Be careful what you write. Or not, you know, whatever.

Baiters gotta bait: Headline exaggeration causes fracas

What happens when you put words in people's mouths? They get mad.

Peeling an onion: Phony iPhone 6 doom starts a chain reaction

So many layers and it'll make you want to cry... with laughter.

Another one, just like the other one: Apple stock advice on repeat

Oh, Apple didn't go down? Well, you should still short them. Maybe even more!

The problem factory: Where Apple problems get manufactured

By the sheer power of thought, problems for Apple get created!