Apple isn't shipping this year's not-ready-to-ship technology!
All aboard! No record results can keep the Apple doom train from making its scheduled stops!
Do you even have to ask?
Microsoft makes some cool demos. Call the Macalope when they ship.
Another wacky idea, another imaginary threat to Apple.
Jobs' thoughts brought to you by the people who understood him least.
We know the Apple Watch will stink because all current smartwatches stink. QED.
Looking back at some of the worst reaction to the iPhone's announcement eight years ago.
Why does Apple even bother making new products when they all come pre-failed?
Few people know what Steve Jobs might have thought about things. They certainly aren't your average pundits.
Be careful what you write. Or not, you know, whatever.
What happens when you put words in people's mouths? They get mad.
So many layers and it'll make you want to cry... with laughter.
Oh, Apple didn't go down? Well, you should still short them. Maybe even more!
By the sheer power of thought, problems for Apple get created!