The MacalopeMacworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Express yourself: But why does it always have to be about Apple?

Because everything is Apple's fault is why.

A broken record: Marketshare predictions continue to be dumb

The Macalope doesn't know why these firms keep doing this. He really doesn't.

Leading indicators: Ads must mean a product is tanking

Anything advertised is a sales failure. It's obvious.

Of babies and bath water: Apple Car DOA

Imaginary Apple product failures don't tar all imaginary Apple products.

Not guilty: Xiaomi's not a very good Apple killer

If there's no body, this can't even go to trial.

Stainless steal: The Apple Watch is not 'easy to steal'

Easy to repurpose does not mean easy to steal.

Gross: A gimmicky 'Dear John' letter for a gadget isn't cute

Buying a device is just like being in a relationship! If you're a weirdo.

The impossible dream: Reviewing products that don't exist

Pundits love to pre-fail rumored Apple devices.

Haptic hazard: Analyzing unannounced products

Why do pundits fall into the trap of pillorying things we know nothing about?

Not getting it: Watch editorial requirements

You may already have all it takes to opine on the Apple Watch!

Meaningless: Words have officially lost all meaning

Things that a pretty successful are flops. It's a thing you can literally say.

Stupid games: Fun with estimates

Fun in the way those little kid games with pre-determined outcomes are fun. Which is to say not fun at all.

Bogus analogies: Glass and Watch are not the same

Not that that will stop people from trying to equate them.

Inverse relationship: Apple Watch doom watch

Apple Watch doom predictions are predictably lame.