That's just good financial analysis.
Even good criticism has to be amped up.
Is it Tim Cook or Wall Street?
Using completely unfounded test criteria, we can easily see the iPhone 7 is a failure.
The Apple car is as doomed as everything else Apple has coming.
But don't let that stand between you and a good rant.
People love their iPhones so naturally Apple is in big trouble.
Metal may get cold but iPhones and MacBooks are just as weather-resistant as their competitors.
Vulnerability counts don't mean much, particularly when compiled like this.
And coming to a web publication near you.
Just because you can make an analogy it doesn't mean that you should.
Apple's stock is performing about as well as the market overall so clearly it's time to panic.
The worst of end-of-the-year traditions.
Unreleased, unannounced device ruins Apple's reputation!
Sure, Apple's usually better than average, but context is still important.