The MacalopeMacworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Can't lose for winning: Or is it the other way around?

Apple had an amazing quarter. Now it'll all go wrong.

One or the other: Apple's either doomed or destroyer

Business Insider just wants to sell stories of winners and losers.

Redefining 'better': It now means 'worse'

Crappy device is surely better because it's cheap.

Too much book learning: Convincing yourself Apple's doomed

Apple's numbers this quarter were great. It must be hiding something.

The Apple Watch watch: More predictions of doom

Still going to be a flop, if you want to know.

Finally: How good news for Apple is bad news for Apple

The analysis of Apple's quarterly results you were waiting for.

Apple's missing out on X: Where X is whatever isn't shipping yet

Apple isn't shipping this year's not-ready-to-ship technology!

The doom train: Nothing can stop Apple doom

All aboard! No record results can keep the Apple doom train from making its scheduled stops!

The blame game: Everything is Apple's fault

Do you even have to ask?

Goal posts of the imagination: Innovation means shipping

Microsoft makes some cool demos. Call the Macalope when they ship.

The bogeyphone: A threat to Apple that isn't

Another wacky idea, another imaginary threat to Apple.

Never say never again: Putting words in Steve Jobs' mouth continues apace

Jobs' thoughts brought to you by the people who understood him least.

Those who do not study history: Apple devices are usually different

We know the Apple Watch will stink because all current smartwatches stink. QED.

Supremely wrong: Getting the iPhone wrong at its birth

Looking back at some of the worst reaction to the iPhone's announcement eight years ago.

Dead already: Future Apple products never stand a chance

Why does Apple even bother making new products when they all come pre-failed?