Be careful what you write. Or not, you know, whatever.
What happens when you put words in people's mouths? They get mad.
So many layers and it'll make you want to cry... with laughter.
Oh, Apple didn't go down? Well, you should still short them. Maybe even more!
By the sheer power of thought, problems for Apple get created!
Who's out of ideas again?
The Apple world's own Fox Mulder is back at it.
Apple should buy something big. Because what it's doing now apparently isn't working. Or something.
Apple should have done that thing we screamed about them doing even thought they didn't do it!
There's really no way to win this game.
Some people just want to see the Apple world burn.
Surely Apple will stumble and fall at some point.
It's OK to criticize iTunes. Just be right.
People love ads! Apple should totally use ads!
Competitors rule, Apple drools. Over and over again.