The MacalopeMacworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

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It’s a two-party system: One offers better security

Even if the FBI did unlock an iPhone, Apple's still your best bet.

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Unspecified results: Threatening Apple with… something

If this year's iPhones aren't amazing then... er...

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Do-nothings: Apple needs to ship more hot garbage

Cutting your customers on sharp edges is clearly the only viable strategy.

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Unwanted: Every iPhone until now

Apple has long listened to customers. If only when it suited them.

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Market dumbnamics: Apple always goes out of business

Isn't it weird how that happens every couple of years?

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Expectation overload: Grading the Apple Watch on a bad curve

It can't be very successful if not literally everyone is wearing one.

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Lesson unlearned: Apple behind yet again

If we can't see it, they must not be working in it.

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Legends of Next Week: Reviewing iPhones that don’t exist yet

Every new Apple device comes pre-failed.

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Objection: Apple is not a monopoly

Defining a market isn't the same as controlling it.

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To win and win again: Everything’s coming up Microsoft

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

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Double jeopardy: Changing course on iPhone security

Law enforcement officials in New York were for iPhone security before they were against it.

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Dial tone: The crazy is coming from inside the iPhone

The San Bernardino iPhone may contain mythical creatures.

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Sum of all fears: Amping the scary up to 11

For want of an unlocked iPhone.

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Legal misrepresentation: Getting the iPhone unlocking case all wrong

If you don't like the facts, just don't use them in your argument.

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Questionable: Asking questions we already know the answers to

Are people suddenly hating iPhones? No.