More Apple failures! Some of which don't even exist yet!
How many licks does it take to get to a problem with this piece?
The road to which is paved with iPhones.
Everyone's wrong, including you!
Some executive statements are just marketing. Others are just nuts.
Apple didn't release their phones on a pundit's schedule! So incompetent!
As long as it's bad for Apple, it's good to print.
You'll never believe this but Apple's products are a ripoff!
Apple? No, open source, of course!
Stupid pundit tricks reach critical insanity as Apple and its products are compared to ... well, you gotta see this to believe it.
Record sales of a phone no one cares about.
It's time to turn the tables!
Don't let not knowing something about the iPhone keep you from opining about it, pundits! You need to live up to your job, after all.
Isn't it great how helpful pundits are?! Eh, not really.
It's so simple, Apple! Make new products that are astounding! Go on!