Apple can do no right.
Even the Macalope is running out of fresh jokes about this annual exercise.
Still pushing this terrible idea.
iPhones doomed again, presumably by short-term memory.
The telephone game goes wrong again.
Not its best, but not that bad, really.
Nobody buys Apple products anymore. Too popular.
Just trust them, they're killing Apple.
Future devices from Apple competitors beat current Apple devices yet again!
Reports of the Mac's death are premature.
Why wear something you hate? Unless, of course, it's to make a big deal out of it.
The difference between growth in activations and overall activations shouldn't be that hard to figure out.
You have to make hay while the sun doesn't shine on the Apple Watch.
You can always find a few.
No matter what the data shows, it's bad for Apple.