iOS

A thousand wrongs for every right: Apple praise comes with baggage

If you’re writing an article that praises an Apple device, make sure to mention all the things you think the company did wrong first, even if you get some of them wrong yourself.

Writing for Quartz, Mike Murphy says “AirPods are Apple’s most Apple-like product in years.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip Speicher.)

OK, this is probably true. As the Macalope has said, the AirPods are one of those Apple products that, while not perfect, are so good when they’re good that they make you forget about when they’re not good.

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iOS

All is fail: Apple doom only comes in extra large

Once again the Macalope must exhort you, dear reader, do not ask for whom the Apple doom bell tolls. It tolls for Apple.

I mean… duh. That’s why it’s called the Apple doom bell. It’s right there in the name. Says it right on the tin. Couldn’t be more obvious, really. Try to keep up, Gordy.

Writing for The Week, Navneet Alang describes “The sad end of the Apple era.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Shawn King and @JonyIveParody.)

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Bad example: The 1990s wasn’t Apple’s best decade

Some people think the Macalope won’t stand for any criticism of Apple, but that’s not true. He just hates poorly executed criticism. For example, “Be more like Apple was in the ’90s” probably isn’t a good way to go.

Writing for Zacks and published on Yahoo Finance, Ryan McQueeney claims “This Old Apple Slogan Perfectly Explains What's Wrong With The Company Today.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip Speicher and @JonyIveParody.)

Narrator: It does not.

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iOS

This time for sure: Are Apple critics finally right?

The 2 billionth time must be the charm because Apple’s critics have been declared “right” by the Wall Street Journal.

Christopher Mims explains “Why Apple’s Critics Are Right This Time.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @papanic, Nathan Larsen and @JonyIveParody.)

First of all, saying “Apple’s critics are right” is like saying “Eating mold is delicious.” Blue cheese might be delicious, but most molds that are not. (In this analogy, Rob Enderle is the black mold of Apple critics.)

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