Revisionist history: Apple chastised for not sticking it to customers

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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What did we used to do before Forbes? Whatever it was, even if it was writing overwrought poetry in the freezing cold by candlelight shortly before dying of tuberculosis, the Macalope is nostalgic for those times.

Writing for Forbes Jay McGregor warns:

“Don’t Get Too Excited About The iPhone 7” (indirect link)

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Ad hominem: Apple's advertising is always going to get attacked

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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The holiday season is upon us so you know what that means. It’s time to complain about Apple’s holiday ad.

Oh, you thought it was about loving your fellow voyagers on this small blue marble or something? Oh, no, no. That’s like eighth or ninth on the list after complaining about Apple’s holiday ad and finding other animals to shove into turkeys before putting them into deep fat fryers.

Setting the stage for this ad-venting calendar back in early November, Julie Love wrote in the San Jose Mercury News:

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A belief system: Hoping beyond hope for Apple to fail

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Get out the seltzer bottles, shaving cream pies, and slide whistles because the Forbes clown circus is coming to town and driving the car is Bert Dohmen.

“Apple: Icon, Icahn Or iGone?” (indirect link and tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

iPuns are the best puns! Other than every other kind of pun.

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Regifting: If at first your analysis doesn't succeed, try, try again

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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You know that definition of “insanity” that says it’s “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”? Well, get ready for another Apple appointment with disappointment.

CNBC says “Apple products won’t have as happy a holiday: Survey” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

Uh, well, that’s certainly fine except for the fact that PRODUCTS ARE INANIMATE OBJECTS THAT DO NOT EXPERIENCE HAPPINESS ON ANY LEVEL. Boom. Just destroyed your argument.

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Overboard: Taking iTunes criticism too far

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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There’s a lot of room for criticism of iTunes, God knows, but when driving the car of criticism, be careful not to swerve out of control on the Information Highway, crash through the guardrails of sanity, and explode spectacularly in mid-air before falling into the Ravine of Baloney.

Like this guy.

Yes, Business Insider’s Jim Edwards is too legit to quit the anti-Apple screed-of-the-week biz. Wonder if he’d take a buyout? (Note to self: Fund via Kickstarter.)

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Power has driven him mad: Mark Zuckerberg's crazy talk

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Is there something about running an Apple competitor that drives one insane? The circumstantial evidence suggesting it is certainly piling up.

Writing for our pals (disclaimer: not actually pals) at Business Insider, Caroline Moss says:

“Mark Zuckerberg Slams Tim Cook:” (indirect link)

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Dead again: Unshipped products kill Apple every time

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Someone reset the clock! We have another “Apple killer.” We got like 15 minutes that time. New record.

Writing for InvestorPlace, John Divine has found it:

“Amazon Ecosystem: The Biggest Threat to AAPL Stock” (tip o’ the antlers to Achim Loobes)

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