Picture this: Unannounced phone in big trouble

People are very concerned about the iPhone 7, which is in big trouble, by the way.

What? Oh, no, the iPhone 7 isn’t out yet. It won’t be out for months. But we “know” that it’s in big trouble because of all the things we “know” about it, you see. And what we “know” is not good. (So much “knowing”. So many sarcastic quotes.)

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and reform school for circus poodles gone bad, Ewan Spence describes the unbearable ennui that is the iPhone 7.

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Serious problem: The iPhone 7 conundrum

The iPhone 7 is in deep, deep trouble. Or, pundits still don’t get how Apple makes its phones compelling. It’s one of those two things.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and hot dog water reclamation plant, Gordon Kelly says “Apple Leak Confirms iPhone 7 Serious Problem.” (Tip o’ the antlers to mylestaylor.)

Forbes, where dreams come true and unverified rumors are reality.

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Very successfail: The iPhone SE good news is bad

Get your best René Belloq impression ready because we’re about to find once again that there is nothing Apple can have that pundits cannot take away.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and mobility scooter impound lot, Ewan Spence explains “Why The iPhone SE Is Apple's Weakest Link.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Alex Fleming.)

Sure, makes sense. Hey, the Macalope’s heard people explain why the iPhone in general is Apple’s weakest link because the company sells so many of them. What will happen, they say, when we wake up one day and people summarily stop buying iPhones? Then what will Apple do?

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Drastic plastic: The laptop Apple shouldn’t and didn’t make

Today at Macworld we bring you another delightful episode of One-Sided Comparisons. This episode is brought to us by Gizmodo’s Alex Cranz and we’re desperately looking for a way to return it but the delivery person threw down a smoke grenade and fled the building.

“Samsung Finally Gave Us the Laptop Apple Should Have.” (Tip o’ the antler to PorthosJon and David.)


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