iOS

Siri-ously: Siri’s one advantage gets short shrift

It certainly does make an argument easier if you just throw away the main benefits of one of the options. Not that it makes for good analysis.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and irregular hot dog factory outlet (motto: “Misshapen hot dogs direct to you, cutting out the middle man which, uh, in this case is the FDA”), Jon Markman says “Apple’s Problems Are Worse Than You Think.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Neal Butterfield.)

(Offer void if your last name is Enderle or Dvorak.)

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Troll machine: All bad advice, all the time

John Dvorak is a perpetual troll machine that defies the laws of thermodynamics. Science is at a loss to explain it. Also, science asked how we got their number and could we please stop calling because they’re working on actual science and don’t have time to be props in the Macalope’s little jokes.

Which are different than Dvorak’s jokes.

“Apple Should Spin Off the Macintosh.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody.)

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iOS

Strawphone: Arguing against the iPhone 7

People are very upset about the iPhone 7 which they haven’t seen. All of its rumored features are extremely upsetting. Very rude of Apple to do what they may or may not be doing.

Over at The Verge, Nilay Patel says “Taking the headphone jack off phones is user-hostile and stupid.” (Tip o’ the antlers to ppanic.)

THIS PHONE I HAVE NOT SEEN IS A VERITABLE HITLER OF A PHONE. Hashbrown analysis.

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30

Cause and effect: WWDC yields predictable reaction

Now I am become Disappoint, the destroyer of worlds. Or at least Apple announcements.

Writing for the San Jose Mercury News, Larry Magid proclaims “Apple's lack of significant news a disappointment”. (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip Speicher.)

I've been attending Apple product announcements since the early 80s and, at times, I've walked away impressed and even inspired.

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11

iOS

The comments: Every once in a while, they’re better

The Macalope is not here to tell you that up is down and right is wrong, but sometimes the comments provide more information than the article.

The Verge tells us that “Swift Playgrounds sells coding as simple and fun — just like rest of Apple’s products.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Jenny Javert.)

It’s a nice headline. Some of the article, however, seems to have been collected from the floor of a conventional thinking factory in 2008.

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