Car talk: Apple rumors run amok again

A hushed crowd gathers. The excitement is palpable. Suddenly, a puff of white smoke goes up! It’s done! We have a new Apple rumor!

The Apple Car!

The Apple Car? Seriously? Huh. You don’t want to recount that vote? No? OK. Well, fortunately, there’s no need to get excited about an Apple Car. It’s already a failure.

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Finally: Time-bending competition is here today

Did you notice that sense of relief you suddenly felt wash over you but you couldn't place? Well, that's because competition has finally come to a market that doesn't really exist yet.

The Boy Genius Report's Zach Epstein has taken time out from writing Windows 8 fan fiction to write what appears to be science fiction.

"Apple Watch finally has a worthy Android competitor, and we want one immediately" (tip o' the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

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One or the other: Apple's either doomed or destroyer

After years of Business Insider writing jerky linkbait headlines in order to sell the idea that Apple was doomed, you’ll never guess what happened next.

“Apple is now an existential threat to Android” (tip o’ the antlers to Rajesh)

So, Jim Edwards, who warned that Apple would become “the Blackberry of 2014” and then dreamed up 14 Apple doom scenarios is now playing Apple as the dastardly destroyer of Android.

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