Against the CurrentC: The Apple Pay rival’s continued false start

Remember CurrentC? Well, how could you? It still hasn’t gotten started. It’s the giant retail consortium’s little payment method that couldn’t even.

“Apple Pay rival CurrentC could be delayed again as retailers jump ship”

You mean the more complicated, less secure alternative to Apple Pay is going to be even later? Who saw that coming?

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The Floppening, Part VIII: This time, Apple Watch is really a flop

Get out your Apple Watch Flop bingo cards because it’s time to fill in another square. This time the one that says “Flop.” (They all say “flop.”)

Writing for Canada’s Globe and Mail, Shane Dingman is here (well, in Canada) to tell us “Why the Apple Watch just isn’t ready yet” (tip o’ the antlers to Pat Trivedi).

The Apple Watch is a flop, and nobody seems to want to admit it.

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What fight are you Swatching? Things the Apple Watch doesn’t really compete against.

You certainly don’t have to look far for Apple Watch doom because it’s as close as your wrist. Yes, literally anything you can strap to an arm puts the Apple Watch at danger from its competition because… well, that’s just the way things work, OK?

Just ask Business Insider’s Mallory Schlossberg.

“This $150 watch is terrifying for Apple and luxury companies” (tip o’ the antlers to Carlton Swift)

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Community service: Asking Apple to ditch its competitive advantages

Was Apple convicted of spray painting someone’s garage door or vandalizing a skate park or skateboarding in a non-skate park? The Macalope’s just trying to figure out why some people think it should have to do community service.

Writing for the corn maze of the mind that is Business Insider, Matt Weinberger says:

“Dear Apple: Please be nice to Microsoft” (tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

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The wheel of fortune: Sometimes you’re hot, sometimes you’re not

Let us now harken back, if you will, all the way to those heady days of the spring of 2014. Val Kilmer was the Ice Man, college dorm rooms were grooving to the sounds of Peter Gabriel’s So and the entire country was soon to be mesmerized by the baby stuck in a well.

Wait, that was 1986. Sorry, it just seems so long ago that we were being told how Xiaomi was going to kill Apple in China, the United States and, eventually, the off-world colonies. Because it’s just obvious that everyone wants cheap phones and they care about literally nothing else. This much we can all agree on.

Or, well, the Motley Fool’s Chris Neiger who called Xiaomi “the real iPhone killer” could agree on it. The Macalope and others pointed out several times that Samsung was more likely to suffer than Apple because of Xiaomi’s ascendancy because Apple didn’t compete at the low end of the market. Sure enough, that’s how it played out. Who saw that coming?

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