The Macalope: Look Who's Talking, Part Infinity

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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America’s most adorable ragamuffin is back and still proving the age-old adage that “goofy co-founders say the darndest things.”

Yes, Wired’s Mat Honan interviewed Steve Wozniak and, once again, wackiness ensued.

“Steve Wozniak: Apple Should Make an Android Phone”

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The Macalope: The Goldilocks phone

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Now that we’ve all come to the conclusion that Apple is definitely going to make a larger phone (come on, people, it was on all the rumor sites), the question now becomes exactly how a larger phone will doom Apple.

Naturally.

Over at Forbes, Anthony Wing Kosner asks:

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The Macalope Weekly: No admission

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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This week will start off with some suggestions that Apple’s doomed and then we’ll get into the outright admissions that Apple’s doomed! Yes, straight from Apple’s own mouth!

Wellll, not really.

OK, not at all.

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The Macalope: Don't look back in anger or happiness

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Well, it was only a matter of time before someone published a piece saying Apple’s celebration of 30 years of the Mac spelled D-O-O-M, but the Macalope wasn’t really expecting it would be The New Yorker.

Writing for the magazine so venerable it can get away with un-ironically using a dude in a top hat with a freakin’ monocle as its logo, Yukari Iwatani Kane wonders “Why Is Apple Being So Nostalgic?”

Oh! Wait! The Macalope knows this one! Is it because the company’s run out of ideas and can only look backward now because, as we all know, only losers ever celebrate anniversaries? That’s probably it.

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The Macalope: Party like it's 1995

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Prepare for an argument that will shock and amaze you! One that will shake the pillars of your faith in Apple and your commitment to iOS as a platform.

Because according to Computing’s Graeme Burton—are you sitting down?—the battle between Android and iOS is just like the battle between Windows and the Mac.

I know, right?!

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The Macalope Weekly: The games we play

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Let’s face it, the world of technology coverage is often a charade. Those brash and yelly Wall Street people on TV are often just playing a role for dramatic effect. Reports of Apple’s quarterly results must be portrayed in the silliest light possible, or how will you get people to pay attention to you? And, as we’ve all learned, two things sell: sex and Apple. So make every story about Apple, whether it is or not.

I play one on TV

Yahoo Finance’s Jeff Macke is putting on his stern face and playing Apple curmudgeon because that’s what you do when you make Wall Street talking head videos.

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The Macalope: Miss-direction

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Apple had another record quarter, so you know what that means. Yes, it’s doom o’clock again!

Oh, let’s face it, it’s always doom o’clock when it comes to Apple. It’s just a matter of finding daily excuses to not fix your clock.

Writing for the Financial Times, Tim Bradshaw declares “Apple bruised as iPhone sales disappoint” (tip o’ the antlers to Shawn King).

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