The Macalope: False alarm

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Hey, it’s our first overblown freakout of the year! At TechRadar, Gareth Beavis lays down the law.

“Apple: make an iPhad or get ready to iPhail” (tip o’ the antlers to Shawn King).

You …

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The Macalope: One guy

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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The Macalope managed to sneak in the first column of the year last week, but now he is literally (by which he means figuratively) in 2014’s elevator, pushing the up button. So let us in fact get this party started.

And it isn’t a party until someone says Apple’s future looks troubled.

Writing for the International Business Times, Reissa Su tells us “Apple Inc Stock Receives Wells Fargo Downgrade; Others Maintain Buy Rating as Apple Enters ‘Year of Innovation’” (tip o’ the antlers to Kontra).

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The Macalope: Acquiring minds

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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It’s 2014, so it’s high time we fixed Apple, don’t you think?

Writing for USA Today, Alistair Barr declares “2014: Apple’s crunch year to prove innovation chops.”

Well, OK, Tim Cook has had his say and it does seem like 2014 would be a good time to introduce a completely new product line, so this isn’t completely …

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The Macalope: Jerkwatch

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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What’s the big takeaway from 2013? Well, it has to be that Samsung has ushered us into the era of the smartwatch, right? The creepy, weirdo era of the smartwatch.

So, hopefully you’ve digested your holiday cheer, because if you watch this watch ad you may technicolor cheer. The Macalope will provide a synopsis, to spare you from having to rub mistletoe in your eyes. Two guys are on a ski lift with an attractive blonde woman between them. One is an oaf (who is inexplicably carrying his skis), fumbling with his smartphone while the other is suavely making time with the “pretty lady” (he actually calls her that) through the power of the Galaxy Gear smartwatch.

Really.

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The Macalope: Just do something, anything!

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Maybe it’s sour grapes, but the Macalope is continually astounded at how BlackBerry and Microsoft get rewarded for the tiniest little things.

“BlackBerry soars after hiring Foxconn to produce smartphones”

BlackBerry did something! Hurray! Have a higher valuation for doing something!

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The Macalope Weekly: Holiday arguments

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Why do we always have to fight during the holidays? CAN’T WE JUST HAVE PEACE IN THIS FAMILY? But, no, we have to argue about Apple’s advertising and market share! And it’s not even Android market share! It’s Windows Phone! It’s like arguing over nothing!

‘Misunderstood,’ indeed

No one is obligated to like Apple’s new holiday-themed ad. Hey, the Macalope doesn’t like It’s A Wonderful Life. Sorry, he knows it’s a Christmas classic and he does love the sentiment, but when Uncle Billy accidentally hands Potter what would be $100,000 in today’s dollars, it’s the Macalope’s suspension of disbelief that gets its wings. And flies out the window, never to be seen again.

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The Macalope: Misfit toys

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Writing for The Motley Fool, Sam Mattera warns “Apple and Samsung Could Be Dethroned by Asus’ Radical New Device” (tip o’ the antlers to Paul Baptist).

“Warns” is maybe the wrong word. This is more like some sort of interpretive dance that no one really understands.

When it comes to the U.S. smartphone market, it’s mostly a two-horse race. Cumulatively, Apple and Samsung sell two out of every three smartphones …

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