The Macalope Weekly: Schooling

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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School’s not out for summer yet—that’s why there’s still time to send Apple to school about its own business. Meanwhile, you dumb Apple fans need to be schooled on alternatives to those devices you love because … well, you make certain pundits unreasonably angry is why. Finally, Valleywag is going to tell us how anonymous technology journalists think an Apple executive who retired this week was just magical. Oh, is that not how it meant that?

He’s an ideas guy

One of the most beloved genres in all of tech punditry is the “Apple, I’m a dude on the Internet and lemme give you some advice” genre.

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Nostradummy

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Hey, guess what! Apple’s doom finally has a timeline. Look!

“VC Fred Wilson: By 2020 Apple Won’t Be A Top-3 Tech Company, Google And Facebook Will”

If you’ve never heard of Fred Wilson before, well, you’re missing out on some world-class prognostimication, brother. He’s a venture capitalist, people. It’s not like he could easily be invested in a host of startups that compete with or have interest in the failure of App … oh, wait, that’s exactly what it’s like.

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The definition of an academic question

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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On Saturday we looked at some strikingly egregious headlines, but it’s a whole new week and there’s nothing egregious about the headline to this piece by James B. Stewart in the New York Times:

“Steve Jobs, a Genius at Pushing Boundaries”

Nope, nothing wrong there at all.

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Headline news

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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The headline is there to draw you in. The article is there to sucker-punch you in the back of the head. This week we'll look at the most egregious headlines of the week, which all come in one flavor: delicious Apple doom.

Epic fail

You've read Gilgamesh, you've read Oedipus, now read about a truly epic fail.

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Spot the motivation

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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You’ve heard of sponsored content, where a site publishes an ad that looks like an article. But there’s a whole class of content that’s not paid for, but in which the author is an industry player with a vested interest in spinning the information. Let’s call it spinsored content.

Writing at Re/code, Si Shen wonders “Can Android Conquer the U.S.?” (No link, which will be explained.)

My iPhone- and Mac-wielding friend from the U.S. had been eager to make the jump to Android. She was willing to defect from Apple to join in on the Xiaomi hype, so I purchased a Mi3 for her.

After one week, I nudged her for feedback, and her response shocked me: “I’m going to get the iPhone 6 when it comes out. Android is too complicated.”

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Booga booga!

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Another day, another crowbar jamming Apple into a headline it doesn’t need to be in.

Writing for the poorly-trained poodle circus that is the Forbes “contributor” network, Gordon G. Chang warns Apple to be afraid—presumably very afraid.

“Apple, Be Afraid: China’s Xiaomi Going Global” (no link but tip o’ the antlers to Rob Wensing).

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Everybody has an opinion

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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This week’s three pieces bring us a variety of opinions—shocking, wide-ranging, and well-reasoned.

Just kidding. They’re all completely nuts and negative about Apple.

Stunning plot twist

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