As sure as Apple doom and taxes

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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It’s already tax day—how much more bad news can we take? (See how the Macalope keeps it fresh? Topical references. Boom.)

Well, Adam Levine-Weinberg is here to tell us “Why Apple’s iPad Is in Big Trouble” (tip o’ the antlers to MacJournals).

Less than two years ago, Apple’s iPad absolutely dominated the tablet space.

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Analysts say the craziest things

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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It is not true that becoming a Wall Street analyst drives you insane. Most of them were insane long before they graduated from college, got a house in Greenwich, CT, and went to work writing ridiculous stuff about Apple. Correlation is not always causation, people.

Two angles of dumb

Every six months, Piper Jaffray’s Gene Munster takes time off from praying and offering ritual sacrifices to the old gods in return for an Apple television and instead bugs a whole bunch of high school kids. Once again, the results are Apple-friendly.

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Specious reasoning

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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As if you needed them, Forbes contributor Peter Cohan is here with: “Four Reasons To Avoid Apple Stock” (no link but tip o’ the antlers to John Molloy).

Well, the Macalope doesn’t condone the institutionalized gambling known more colloquially as “the stock market,” so he’s not here to tell you to get into AAPL, but let’s review Cohan’s … hmm, “reasoning” is the wrong word. Let’s say “comedic stylings.” That’s probably the most charitable thing to call it.

I see four reasons why investors should avoid the stock.

Apple declined to comment.

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9

Securitysplainin'

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Isn’t it nice that so many people who are ostensibly not Mac users are still very concerned about Mac security? It’s sweet the way they look out for us.

(Stuck in) BetaNews’s Derrick Wlodarz is one of them.

“The Apple myth: Why security through obscurity isn’t security”

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Fait accompli liability

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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What is it with pundits declaring things that are not done—and in many cases haven’t even started—to be over? (And what’s the deal with airline food?)

What did you do in the great Wearables War, grandpa?

That’s the question you should be asking, because it’s all over but the shouting, according to Andy Boxall of Digital Trends.

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A whirlwind of spin

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Last week Microsoft debuted Office for the iPad, finally stepping in to save the platform after its four years of doom … during which it redefined and dominated the tablet marketplace. Thankfully, Computerworld’s Gregg Keizer is here to tell us how Microsoft has outsmarted Apple yet again.

“Nadella to Cook on Office revenue sharing: Drop dead”

Microsoft returns to ‘freemium’ revenue model for Office for iPad, escapes the bulk of Apple ‘tax’

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13

Fools of the Year

The Macalope , Macworld

In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.
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Has it been another year again?! Because, really, reading the work of these pundits, it seems like it’s been a lot longer. But catalog the atrocities we must! For history must know … that … uh …

Wait, why do we do this?

No time to wonder! The lights dim and all rational thought goes out into the lobby to smoke and drink as the Fools of 2014 take the stage!

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